“I drove too. I’m in the south parking lot. You?”
I nod. “Yep. Guess we’re headed back to life, then, aren’t we?” I question and tug him towards the lot.
“I guess we are. Life. Living…alive,” he murmurs to himself, a note of shock or awe in his voice, which one, I wasn’t sure.
We walk together silently across the bridge, hand in hand, towards the parking lot, both deep in thought. I’m not sure what he’s thinking about, more than likely his close call with death. I’ve had so many that I’m not jarred by why I came here today. No, it’s more so the revelation that on a day when I was so completely set on finally ending it, a reason to stay presented itself in the most shocking of ways.
The fact that a human connection with a total stranger made my numb soul feel drastic things floors me. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling the little sparks I feel now. I didn’t think I could feel such an intense connection with another person. In the moment our eyes first locked, I felt butterflies, warmth, all sorts of other emotions buzzing in my soul, effectively shocking it out of its coma, its numbness. Those sparks and butterflies made me feel something I haven’t felt in such a long time:hope.
Hope for happiness.
Hope for the future.
Hope for emotion.
Hope formore.
More.
That itself shocks me. The idea of wanting more of any emotion when I work so damn hard to turn it all off is insane to me. Ineverwant more, but in those fleeting moments with a complete stranger, more was all I wanted. More time, more feelings, morehim.
“Which car is yours?” he asks, bringing me out of my revelation.
“Oh, ummm, it’s a white CR V.” I glance around the lot, now filled up with cars, spotting it far off to our left, facingthe bay. “It’s right over there.” My heart suddenly pounds in my chest: this is it, he’s going to say goodbye. Then, he surprises me by tugging me along by our joined hands towards my car. I smile behind him, happy for another few minutes of connection, even if it’s just our hands.
“Oh, shit!” he curses, and drops my hand, quickly walking the last few feet to my car.
I look up confused and see my driver’s side window smashed in. I can’t help but laugh at the situation. Had I jumped, my car wouldn’t have mattered. None of it would’ve mattered. Someone decided to take advantage of me potentially ending my life by helping themselves to my car and possessions. After all the rawness and insanity of the last half hour, I can’t help but fall into a fit of manic laughter.
“What’s so funny? Someone broke into your car. They probably stole some shit, too. Why the fuck are you laughing?” He looks down at me bent in uncontrollable laughter, looking completely confused by my inappropriate reaction, as he should be, considering he can’t hear my brain’s logic. I try to calm myself so that I don’t look so nuts, but it’s hard, really hard. After a minute, I rein it in and try to explain.
“I left my purse and phone in the car because I was headed to jump off a bridge, so my stuff really didn’t matter. Can’t take it with you when you go, right? Then I saved your ass, and you saved mine, and now I have to go back to caring about earthly possessions and I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m laughing. It’s just been a fucked-up morning,” I say between half giggles and half cackles.
He stares at me for a beat more, then breaks into a smile that quickly morphs into his own fit of laughter. We laugh hard, so hard that we end up wiping tears from our eyes. I think we’re both still coming down from our adrenaline surge; I’ll be back in the pits of despair soon enough.
We both seem to come out of it at the same time. Standing up straight and steadying myself, I walk over to my car, unlock the doors through the broken window, and go around to where I stashed my bag. Sure enough, it’s gone.
I snort at the sight. “My purse, wallet, and phone are gone. So are the keys, which is kind of funny. Guess they didn’t want a car.”
I hang my head, feeling the weight of this morning crashing into me. I have a list of to-dos a mile long, with no way to do any of it with my stuff stolen. I rub my forehead and lean my back against the car. I swear, every time I take a step forward, I’m thrown back into the bullshit of life again.
“I’m not even sure what to do. I don’t have a spare key, or my phone to call anyone, or my card to pay for anything,” I say, mostly to myself, assuming my hot, strange savior has already left. I riffle through the car to see if anything else was stolen. Nothing else was, which means they just busted in for a quick purse grab. I guess that’s good news.
“It’s all taken care of,” hot guy says, shaking me out of my thoughts. I thought he’d left, so I’m glad but shocked when I see he’s still here. “The tow truck’s on its way. They’ll take it to my buddy’s shop to replace the window and get you a new key,” he says with a shrug, like it’s no big deal.
“What? You don’t have to do that,” I say, somewhat taken aback by his generosity.
“Of course, I do, Thumbelina. You saved me from a watery grave today. I owe youeverything,” he says, completely seriously.
“Well, you saved me from the same fate, Redwood. We’ll never be even at this rate,” I say with a smile.
He shakes his head, as if I’m crazy for saying it. “Come on, let’s go get celebratory coffee. Vinny will call when the car’s done,” he states as he extends his hand back towards me.
The amount of trust I feel with this stranger should really worry me, but it doesn’t. I feel like I’ve known him forever. His commands and matter-of-fact-ness are everything I never knew I needed. So, I grab his hand again and follow him wherever he decides to take me.
Chapter 5
Twenty minutes later, we’resitting in a booth at Mel’s Drive-In diner, coffee, french fries, onion rings, tater tots, and mozzarella sticks on the table in front of us.
