Now.
Always.
Slowly, so slowly, I reach out and grab her hands, stilling her erratic movements. Her eyes snap to mine, glossy and shadowed. I grip her hand, bringing it to my lips. I press a shaky kiss to the tips of each finger, watching her eyes dilate, her breathing turn to pants, her jaw tremble.
“I told you I love you,” I murmur. She jolts but doesn’t speak. She also doesn’t pull away, so I’m counting it as a win. “I told you I love you, and I want to be with you. I told you I’ve always loved you, that you’re mine, and I’m yours. I told you I’d die for you so you could live the life you deserve. I told you all those things as I lay dying in your arms, Isabella.”
Her head shakes, her tears now flowing freely down her round cheeks, and it’s an achingly beautiful sight even in the middle of devastation. I swallow hard, my voice trembling with a potent blend of emotions.
“I said all those things, baby…” I suck in a sharp breath. “And I meant them.”
At that moment, as our emotions collide and entwine, I can feel the overwhelming depth of my love for her coursing through my veins, an unbreakable bond that defies death and transcends fear.
“Hunter!” she wails, falling into me. I jerk when her small body collides with my chest but ignore the pain as I wrap her in my arms. There’s nowhere else I want her to be,ever. Her tears hit my neck as she sobs into me, and I hold her as tight as I can. “I was so fucking scared. I thought you died!”
I rub her back with one hand and palm her head with the other, keeping her tucked in tightly, refusing to let her go.
“I know, babe,” I croak, my own eyes filling with tears. I squeeze them shut, inhaling her scent. Beneath the sweat, the tears, the coppery scent of blood,mine probably, she still smells like my Ella. “I’m so sorry.”
She tries to pull away, but I can’t for the life of me let her. She huffs a small sound of annoyance, and even through our tears, I smile, but it falls as her lips ghost over my throat. A shiver races down my spine.
“It’s not your fault,” she breathes. “I’m still mad at you for diving in front of that bullet, but,fuck, Hunter…” She breaks off,her body tensing before another wave of sobs hits her. I can feel her shaking, the effort of staying on her feet and bent over the bed too much for my exhausted girl.
I groan in pain as I slide my hand down her back and palm her ass. She jerks in my grip with a little squeal, and I chuckle before sliding a bit lower to grip her upper thigh. I tug her hard but can’t pull her where I want her. Luckily, she knows what I want and helps me up, climbing onto the bed as gingerly as possible, avoiding all the wires connected to me.
I tuck Ella into my side, an arm wrapped under her so I can thread my fingers through her hair. I pause when I realize it’s tangled and soaked, but I don’t comment.
We’re a fucking mess.
I don’t know how long we sit there, no sound in the room beyond our combined breaths, her sobs that turn to quiet sniffles, and the beeping from my monitors. I can tell I was seriously injured, but the pain meds are doing their job for the most part. I remember being shot, remember her, but not much else, and I’m not sure when the right time to ask is.
Part of me doesn’t want to disrupt this peaceful moment we’ve found. Having Ella in my arms after everything I admitted, everything that happened, with it all out on the table—it’s nearly too much.
But, fuck, it feels so damn right.
“Hunter,” she breathes, breaking the silence. I hum in response, continuing to gently detangle her hair, my eyes heavy. Ella exhales slowly and leans up, her clouded eyes meeting mine. I brush her tears away, loving the way she sinks into my touch. “Everything is so fucked up.”
I almost laugh at her eloquent way of stating the obvious. Instead, I give her a stern nod. “I know.”
Her eyes search mine, and my gut twists. “Did you really mean it?” she whispers, her voice cracking.
My heart rate kicks up, and I curse the damn monitor for betraying my nerves, my excitement, my love.
I rub her cheek, my thumb making slow strokes across her face, tracing it, rememorizing it like I’ve done hundreds of times before.
“What part?” I murmur. She gives me a look that has my lip twitching. I pinch her chin, bringing her face closer, closer,closer, until we’re only a breath away. “If you’re asking about the part where I died so you could live,” I whisper, pinching harder when she tenses. I press a kiss to her cheek, murmuring against her skin, “Yes. A hundred times over, yes.”
“Hunt…” she breathes.
I tug her in closer, and she comes willingly. “Or about when I said that it’s always been you. From the day we met until the day I actually let Heaven or Hell take me, it has been and will always beyou.”
A kiss to her jaw.
Her nose.
Her eyes flutter closed, so I kiss them, too.
There’s not even an inch between us now, but I don’t stop, not until she tells me to. Even then, it would kill me, but I’d stop. For her, I’d respect every boundary she needed. There was a time when I couldn’t, and I will never take that from her again.
