It will never be off.
Cool hands begin to rub up, and down my back, a soothing gesture, and a soft, comforting voice breaks through my anguish.
“What can I do, sweetheart?” the voice murmurs, filled with empathy.
My body shudders.
Evelyn.
I slowly lean back, my hair dripping and tangled, and my eyes meet hers in the mirror.
“Mom,” I choke out, my voice trembling as I use a name I’ve struggled to use for so long, too long. Evelynismy mom. Even with Madeline here, she’s still my mom. She’s earned the title again and again. It’s hers. “He’s dead. They’re all dead.”
With tears streaming down her face, she watches me unravel in the reflection. Wordlessly, she reaches for a stack of papertowels and, with gentle tenderness, dries me off as best as she can. Her touch is a lifeline, a silent promise that I’m not alone even though my world’s imploded.
“We’ll sort it all out,” she murmurs softly with a sniffle as she proceeds to clean me up the best she can. “I think a shower and a change of clothes is in order, hmm?”
She smoothes my hair back, and I try to nod, but I can’t. I’m so tired, so fucking weary, I can barely move. I blink up at her, my eyes heavy. “Tell me,” I rasp.
Her eyes flit between mine, and finally, I can see past the pain, the fear, the confusion. She genuinely has no idea what I’m talking about.
I swallow and lean against the sink, pulling away a fraction. Her hands drop to her sides, the wet paper towels still clenched between her fist.
“Tell you what, Ella?” she asks, her voice soft.
God, that’s a loaded question. I have so many things I need answers to. Where am I? Who am I? How? Where has my mother been all these years? What the hell happened?
But the only thing that tumbles out is a desperate plea born from deep in my soul. “Gage, Maddox, Nyxon, Stone,” I say their names, one at a time, reverence clear in my voice, even as it cracks. “They were with me in the parking lot of The Den.” I swallow, forcing my spine to straighten. “So were you and Daniel. Are they dead?”
Her brows crash together. “I don’t know—”
“Not good enough!” I shout, my lungs heaving. She flinches, and I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I just, fuck, I’m so confused. I don’t know where I am or what the hell happened, but all I care about is them. What if it was Daniel that bled out in your arms?” She jolts like I’ve slapped her, but I go on, my voice echoing in the small bathroom. “What if you held the love of your life while he died? Wouldn’t you want some goddamned answers?”
“Who died, Ella?” she asks, her own voice wavering. She shakes her head and straightens her sweater. “The last I saw, the boys were all still alive, still fighting. But our job was to get to you, and that’s it. Nothing and no one else mattered.”
My fists slap against my thighs as I scream,“They matter!”
The bathroom falls silent except for my heaving breaths. My eyes are blurry from tears, but I blink them away. “They matter, Mom. They matter.”
Her lips roll between her teeth as she swipes her damp cheeks and nods. “I know they do.” She looks away and exhales harshly. “I told her they were important to you. Daniel and I fought for them to be extracted with you and Hunter.” Her jaw pulses. “She didn’t go for it, clearly.”
“Who is she?” I ask, smoothing out my dress even though it’s a lost cause. “Madeline?”
Evelyn nods again. “She’s in charge, for now.”
I leave that ominous comment for later, circling back to the guys. “The man who took me—”
“Bobby,” she cuts in, flitting her gaze back to me. “He’s a big bear, but he’s kind.” She searches my face again and takes a tentative step forward. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I swear to all that is holy, if he—”
“No,” I sigh, my fingers tangling in my soaked, gross hair. I cringe. “He didn’t hurt me.” Not physically, anyway. “But he said…” I choke on another sob and growl in irritation.Get it together, Ella.“He saidthey’re gone.What does that mean if they’re not dead.”
Hope fills me as I wait for her to answer with bated breath.
Unfortunately, I know the answer isn’t good, as she slowly shakes her head. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” I turn around and bow over the sink, my knees shaking all over. “But I will find out. We have a debrief in a few hours with the Tacteam that was on the recovery mission tonight. We’ll get answers then.”
I spin back around. “We?”
Her lips lift in a slow smile. “I figured you’d want to be there for that.” She squeezes my bicep. “I know you have so many questions, Ella, so many. And you deserve the answers. But one thing at a time, okay? First, you need to get cleaned up, and you need to rest. Then, we’ll go to the debrief and figure out where your men are. After—”
