And definitely not for Gus.
Not until his heart beats for the last time in my scarred hands.
Chapter 39
People file into thechamber, their faces a mix of confusion and exhaustion. The weight of the situation hangs heavy in the air, thick and suffocating. Everyone’s falling apart, feeling the loss, even though most of them haven’t seen Gage,Stone, Maddox, or Nyxon since they were kids. The emotional burden is there, though, heavy and deep.
Not nearly as badly as it’s hitting its leader.
I flick my gaze to Ella as the word circles through my mind.
Leader.
Ella’s pacing the room, frantic, her movements sharp and erratic. I can see she’s barely holding herself together, the cracks in her facade growing wider with each passing moment. She’s pulling at her hair, her eyes red-rimmed and wild. Every step she takes feels like she’s teetering on the edge; one wrong move away from breaking entirely.
It’s killing me to watch her fall apart. I’ve never claimed to be a strong man—in fact, many times, I’ve been the weak one. She’s been the person holdingmetogether. But right now, she needs me to step up. Needs me to be the glue, and I’m trying. Fuck, I’m trying. But I can’t give her the one thing she wants, needs…them.
It should hurt to know she’s so damn desperate to have four other men by her side. Should make me feel obsolete. Unwanted.
But then, she flicks her gaze up to mine and her shoulders fall, her eyes soften. She looks at me and I see it, clear as day.
Isabella loves her Diablos, but she loves me too. There is no contest, no rivalry like I’d previously been worried about. It’s not them or me.
It’s us. A family.
I nearly died for her, and in those last moments, it wasn’t jealousy of a life they’d get to live with her without me. It was nothing but happiness for the life I’d already shared by her side. It was dreams, prayers, for more. It was her in my arms, her love in my heart, and fuck, I want more of it.
If I have to share her, so fucking be it. I’d do it, and so much more, just to have a life with her.
My love.
But right now, I don’t feel worthy of her smiles or her trust. I feel useless. I’d give anything to find the guys for her, to put her back together, to bring some peace to this chaos. But I can’t, and it’s killing me.
And then there’s Stone. Mybrother. The word feels foreign, like it doesn’t quite fit. I haven’t even had a chance to wrap my head around it, to process what it means. He’s out there somewhere, maybe hurt, maybe worse, and I don’t know how to deal with that either.
My mind keeps circling back to the fact that I just found out we’re related, and now he might be gone. The thought twists in my gut like a knife.
“Thank you for coming,” Ella calls, pulling me from my thoughts.
I lean back in my chair, taking her in. She’s standing at the head of the table, her shoulders back, trying to project strength. She’s doing her best to be the queen everyone thinks she is, even if she’s not sure it’s a title she wants.
But I can see through it.
She’s barely hanging on, the strain evident in the way her hands tremble when she grips the edge of the table, in the way her voice wavers as she speaks. She’s trying so damn hard, and it breaks my heart to see her like this.
A series of“Hello,”and words of respect are spoken quietly. It’s obvious everyone is just as exhausted, just as worried. Even Madeline is a shell of the person she was just days ago. She doesn’t even miss a beat as she takes the chair next to Ella’s and turns, giving her full attention to the new queen.
Or leader.
Or…whatever she is.
Whatever she wants.
“I wanted to start off by thanking all of you for accepting me into the fold. I know we got off to a rocky start and…” She breaksoff, sighing heavily. “I don’t know any of you the way I’d like to. We still have a long way to go, but all of that will need to wait.”
“We understand, sweetheart,” Evelyn says, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “We know why we’re here and it’s not for a welcome party. We have a job to do.”
“And,” Kassie adds. “We’re well equipped to do it. But we need to be pragmatic. The accident—”
