“You’re stronger than you think,” I said. And more willful too. I set the food on the side table, then took her hand and sat by her bedside, determination coursing through me. “This is going to be hard—one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. You’re going to be exhausted and stressed for longer than you’d like to admit. But you are going to love and be loved more than you ever thought possible. You’ll learn infinite ways to make both of your lives better. And when you’re on the other side of all these challenges, you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated. Because you can do this.”
And so could I. Knowing who’d be on the other side, I was ready to face the biggest challenges of my life.
Jen looked away. “I just wanted the perfect family.”
Mom sat on the other side of her. “So did I.”
‘But you got us instead,’ I could imagine Kat joking. I really missed her in moments like this.
“None of us are perfect,” Mom said. “And although I wish we’d fight a little less amongst ourselves, I’m proud of us for fighting for what’s important.”
That ‘important’ thing was different for all of us. But we’d all metaphorically put our feet in the stirrups, held onto our loved ones, and pushed as hard as we could to make something beautiful out of the chaos in our lives.
Chapter thirty-two
Babe
By the time I got home from the hospital, Angel was asleep in our bed, the golden hues of dawn stretching across his back as an old movie played from his phone. I lightly stroked his feather-soft hair, and he let out a happy sigh, reaching for me even in his dreams.
“My sweet Angel.” I started to move his phone to slip in beside him, and the tab shifted to his messages.
On the screen was an unsent text. To me.
The last line read:
My eyes filled with tears, my heart full of hope.
Of course he loved me. I didn’t know why I ever doubted it. I sank onto the mattress and stifled my happy weeping so as not to wake him.
Despite how exhausted he must’ve been, he’d unpacked our stuff and placed the scented bear on my side of the bed. This was the perfect nest with my boyfriend nestled into fresh, soft blankets, and my favorite snacks on the nightstand.
I gently kissed his shoulder, wrapped his arm around my waist, and promptly passed out with the reassurance I had so much love in life. Anddetermination. Surely, we could get through anything. Once I slept properly.
Later in the morning, Angel shifted us into a better spooning position. He gave me kisses. Hugs. Pressed himself flush against me. I passed out again before it could lead to anything sexy.
At some point, he got up. More sleep for me.
Eventually, he brushed my hair away from my sweaty forehead and said, “Hey, pidge. Do you want to sleep or eat?”
“Yes,” I grumbled into my pillow.
“Okay.” He chuckled.
What could’ve been seconds or hours later, he returned with a full tray of food.
“Breakfast in bed?” I gave him a groggy smile and sat up. “You’re spoiling me.”
“Eh, it’s more like brunch at this point. You need at least one full day of recovery after everything we’ve gone through this week. Doctor’s orders.” He tilted his chin as if that increased his authority.
I chuckled and stretched. “Thanks, sweetie. I’m already feeling a lot better. Care to join me?”
“I have to go to work in a few minutes, but I’ll keep you company ‘til then.” He draped himself across the other side of the bed and peeled an orange for me. “How’d the rest of your night go?”
“Good. I’m officially an aunt to a healthy little baby.”
“Congratulations.” He grinned, offering me a wedge.
