We exchanged slow, soft kisses. This could be every day, not just a vacation at his mom’s house. I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment.
He cupped my ass, more massaging than groping. “Are you sure you wanna do this now, pidge? You look like you need that nap.”
“I can sleep after.”
He chuckled and leaned back. “I think maybe I should just tuck you in.”
“What? But we could have sex.” Wasn’t that what he wanted?
“We’re both exhausted, and we still need to unpack. I don’t think either of us will be walking straight, let alone getting out of bed, right after an orgasm. But I’ll put condoms somewhere easy to access if we're up for it later, okay?”
“Okay.” I rolled onto my side to hide my quivering lip. This was supposed to be a big moment.
“Hey. Don’t be like that.” He smacked my butt affectionately. “Do you want a hand?”
I shook my head and burrowed under the covers. “I just need a minute.”
He’d hooked up with random girls before, right? So why didn’t he want to have sex with me? Was it really just because we were sleepy? Or was he turned off by the idea of living with me?
Maybe I should’ve waited to say I loved him.
Everything had happened so fast, both good and bad. I’d been so swept away by emotion I hadn’t considered what it’d be like if the momentum caught up with us.
This was my first relationship—and his. Maybe he wanted more romance. Or less. I knew I was different from other girls he’d been with, but maybe that wasn’t always to our benefit. He needed someone steady, someone who wouldn’t crave his validation every single second. And that wasn’t me, normally. But right now I was shaking with anxiety.
Angel dangled my vanilla-scented bear in front of me. “I can feel you overthinking from here. Maybe you’d prefer to cuddle this guy for a bit?”
I smiled and hugged the plushie. “Thanks.”
He kissed my shoulder, then resumed digging through his backpack for his study guide.
This was love, wasn’t it? And we’d had other forms of sex, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t into me. Maybe he was just feeling off from all the drama yesterday. We’d had a weird couple of weeks.
I bit my lip, then sat up to face him. “Angel, how are you feeling?”
“Tired, but fine,” he said, going through his backpack. “I’m gonna try to squeeze in one last study session before the test.”
“Right. Good idea.” This wasn’t the time to dissect his feelings about sex. Or his mom. Or his mom’s boyfriend. Or me, even.
This test was important.
I got out of bed to show him down the hall. “The living room couch is comfy for studying. If you need a table—”
“I’m sure I can figure it out, pidge.”
“Right, yes. I’ll just…unpack for a bit,” I said, awkwardly shuffling away.
“What about your nap?” he asked.
“Nap? Who needs a nap? Carpe diem. Let me know if you need anything,” I said, dashing toward the bedroom.
I’d left my family home so I didn’t have to babysit. Now that we’d moved from his place, I didn’t want him to feel like he had to hold my hand through everything.
I texted Kat asking about her apartment and put on some quiet music to motivate me to unpack the basics. After that, I started the finances spreadsheet on my laptop. I laid on my stomach and tried to put together a presentation for my boyfriend. My income was pretty low. And rent might be high. But we could split it. I’d also have car payments. Add tuition? I opened a tab to research what that’d be without my parents’ involvement.
A soft knock at the door jolted me an inch off the bed.
Angel nudged open the door. “Hey, pidge. How’s it going?”
