Socks: $20 for a pack
Neck chain: $45 (a gift from me, by the way)
Gray designer sweatpants: $98 (another gift, part of a set)
And he threw my heart away for an ugly pair of shoes. If I totaled up everything I got him…
I did the math and eyed the mirror on the closet door, holding up the remnants of my ex. I sure as hell wasn’t going to use my non-relationships for content, but I did have some general observations. As a fashion enthusiast. As a person.
I nodded at my reflection.
It was time to take my brand back.
39
Retail Therapy
People underestimated me. I wasn’t just a model, a sex worker, a shoe sales associate, or a girlfriend. I was a lover. A fighter. A fashionista.
Maybe even a friend.
We never discussed if I was still ‘allowed’ to hang with Shelby, and I didn’t trust any of my city friends not to gossip about me if I opened up about anything. There was only one person I trusted, and he’d judged me.
That night, Zack texted me.
What did he expect me to say? Sweet dreams? Hey, it’s okay you think my line of work is sketchy, please date me anyway? No. We weren’t friends. His precious honor would forbid it.
I needed someone to make me laugh and remind me I was fabulous.
So, I’d be that person.
The next day, I experimented by filming myself making my bed. Each jump cut highlighted the designer wares and howmuch each piece cost. For the last shot, I flopped onto the mattress like a starfish.
Mine, all mine, I joked.
But I wasn’t feeling the solo bed triumph post-breakup. Zack and I never even got to share a romp in the sack. I wrapped myself in the blankets and toddled over to check my camera. Okay, my ghost-in-a-sheet shuffle was kind of funny. I could imagine Zack laughing and asking, “What are you doing?”
I’d made a wrap dress.
“Super classy,” he’d probably tease.
And it was. Sort of ironically, just like me.
I twisted and pinned the sheets, using my live footage as a model to figure out what should go where.
And there, I thought, wrapping a belt around my waist. I posed dramatically and spun in my new ensemble to show it off.
A masterpiece. Classic formalwear.
These sheets were great for the bedroom or the ballroom, which totally justified the expense. Know your worth, I’d caption it.
I laughed.
For a moment, the emotional pain stretching my skin tight snapped in relief.
God, I needed that.
