“Have you then?What did you wish for?”
“Nothing and everything”. He turned and gave her a smile that did not reach his eyes.“Maybe they did come true, because that’s exactly what I have.”
“What do you mean?Youdohave so much. All of this belongs to you”, she gestured to the castle and lands beyond. “And all of these people are yours to lead and protect. What is it, then, that you want?” It was a question she desperately wanted to know the answer to.
He did not respond, but only stared at the sky as if lost in his own world.Ella did not heed him, but pushed on, sensing she was closer than ever to understanding what was most important to her.“Whydon’t you marry?” She asked softly.“Don’t you ever want a wife and children?”
He turned to fix her with a fierce look , but his eyes were full of pain behind the façade of anger. She knew then that she had touched upon the source of his grief. She could feel it even now, a dark storm gathering, though he fought hard to control it.“I don’t want to marry”, he bit out. “I have no need for a wife.”
She knew now that wasn’t true. “But certainly you must want someone to…”
“Why don’t you just leave me alone?” He ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of utter frustration.
She put her hand on his arm, and felt the muscle there tense as if her touch had again burned him. He tried to pull away, but she held on.“Because I don’t think you really want to be alone”, she said gently. “Why don’t you want a wife?”
He stood abruptly and turned to face her, ripping his arm from her grip. His fisted his hands at his sides, and she had never seen him look more furious. He trembled with it, and when he spoke, his voice was deadly calm, his eyes nearly black. She wondered in a moment of uncertainty if she had pushed himtoofar.
“Have you not heard of the curse of my line Ella?” He stepped forward, forcing her to take a step back.“Have none of your new friends told you of my fatal flaw?The reason I will forever remain alone? It was my father’s gift to his only son.” He took another step, and she retreated further.“I can never sire a child of my own”, he said in a voice filled with rage and anguish, “and I wouldn't take a woman to wife knowing I would never be able to give her a babe of her own to hold. Even I am not so cruel.”
Her eyes widened for only a second, before she reached for him again. “But Ceann…”
He brushed roughly past her with a low growl and stalked away, leaving her standing there alone atop the castle wall. She was left stunned by his sudden admission, when she had been trying so hard for so long to learn the truth of him. He could not sire a child… why did that matter so much to him? Most men she knew only cared whetherthey had an heir, and many childless couples adopted orphaned children and were very happy… she knew of several herself.He was a man who liked children. She had seen him many times over the past weeks, bending down to speak with one of the castle’s children, or swinging a giggling lad over his shoulder… But wait,had he said something about a curse?What curse?She wanted badly to follow after him, but no, no good could come of that in his present mood. He needed some time alone to calm down. Better to find Maggie. Maggie had been at the castle since Ceann himself was a child, she was bound to know what curse he was talking about.
Chapter 9
She cornered Maggie in the buttery just a few minutes later. Even at this late hour, the kitchens were busy with cleaning up and preparations for the next day’s meals. She was greeted with a motherly smile.“What is it child? You look a bit lost.”
“Maggie”, she began tentatively, “I need to ask you about something.”
The older woman gave her a nod, her arms full of onions she was no doubt taking to the kitchens for someone.“Of course, dear. What is it you need to know?”
Ella took a deep breath. “What curse does Ceann think keeps him from fathering bairns?”
The onions fell to the floor as Maggie stared at her open-mouthed for several seconds. Ella tried not to smile at the comical look on the woman’s round face, but her lips quirked all the same. She had apparently been caught completely off guard by her question. Finally coming back to herself, Maggie leaned over and busily set about retrieving the onions from the stone floor. Ella bent to help her.“I’m sure child,” Maggie declared, “that I don’t know what you’re talking about.”Her uneasy tone would have made it obvious to anyone that she did indeed know.
Ella narrowed her eyes stubbornly. “Yes you do, Maggie. Please, I need to know. What if I can help him? Surely it must be common knowledge around here anyway. Legends and curses and the like always are.”
Maggie searched Ella’s face carefully before she spoke again. “Did he mention the curse to you himself?”
“Aye, he did.I’ve only just come from speaking with him. Though he got rather angry and left before he had explained much of anything, which is why I came to you.”
Maggie paused and studied her face for a moment, her eyes softening a little.“Do you care for him lass?” she asked at last.
The question was unexpected, but the answer came to her without any thought. “Aye, I do.I don’t know why, since he’s been nothing but rude to me since the moment I met him, but I really do.”
Maggie nodded once, as if satisfied with her reply, then looked away, her eyes becoming distant.“Well, I’ll tell you what I know, though I’m sure there’s more to it than that; there always is with such things. It was written when Ceann was no more than a bairn”, she began.“The curse, that is. No one knows for sure who wrote it. Some say a witch, some say the fae folk, but that is likely just fancy.Ceann’s father, Artair, you see, had been gone for weeks with no word. When finally he came home, he brought with him only the parchment with the words written upon it. He would tell no one what had happened, or where he had been, but not ten months later, Ceann was born. To a couple who had been childless for years”, she said meaningfully.
“Artair died several years ago in a battle with the Campbells, and his secret died with him.If Ceann’s mam, God rest her soul, knew any more than the rest of us, she never said.It is said the parchment tells the fate of the clan, and that the line of great lairds will end with Ceann, as he will not be able to sire an heir of his own.”
Ella pondered all this. “But Maggie, how does anyone know it’s true? It could all be just a story.”
“Ah lass, I suppose they don’t for sure, but Ceann believes it. Though he certainly didn’t when he was a young lad. All young lads think they’re invincible. He would brag that one day he would be a great laird, with a beautiful lady at his side, and that was when he was only five summers!” She smiled fondly, as if remembering the exuberant boy Ceann had been. “When he came to be a man near of age to marry, talk of the curse and its meaning was renewed; that he couldn't produce an heir, and therefore the lairdship would one day pass to his younger cousin.People were quick to point out that none ofhis many youthful dalliances had ever produced a child, and many a village lass would have considered herself lucky to have a child of the future laird, mind you, bastard or not.Well, you can imagine what all this did to the pride of a young laird just coming of age. Reckless, men are at that time of life, and volatile. He took up with a string of mistresses then, and became angrier still when not one ever got with child. None of those women could give him what he really needed. None of them lovedhim, only his power and wealth, and aye, his handsome face. And he loved none of them; I could see that he didn’t.”Maggie sighed.“That was years ago now, and he has since put such things aside and grown into an honorable man and a strong laird.” Her face grew sad. “But I know he suffers much for what he can’t have, and what he sees as his own failure to the people he leads. I see the way he looks at other men’s bairns.It is fair eating him up inside, that he can’t ever have his own. It runs so strong in his blood, you see, to protect and lead his people, and to raise up the next generation of great lairds.He always loved children, you know. He would have made a wonderful father…” She suddenly stopped, coming back to herself with a gasp and a little jump. Ella jumped a little too, she had been listening, enthralled, to every word.
“Och, but I’ve said much more than I meant to.”Maggie bustled toward the door. “Off with you, child”, she said, flustered, “and leave me to my work now.”
Ella felt the unbidden tears welling up behind her eyes. Tears for Ceann and all he suffered with. If what Maggie said was true, it explained so much about the man he had become. She felt more determined than ever to break through to him, to make him happy somehow. It suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world, and the task belonged to her and her alone.And, she would see to it that he would have no more mistresses.Not one, not ever!If it was in any way possible, she wanted more than anything to have Ceann for her own. How did one set about winning a man’s heart?
All the next day, as she went about helping with the chores, Ella could not stop thinking of Ceann. She had learned so much more abouthim, and what had shaped the man he was today. She wanted desperately to hold him, touch him, give him everything he wanted, make him happy. If he would only have her, they would embrace as many children as he wanted, and she would have no difficulty loving each and every one as her own.And just where are these thoughts coming from Ella?Children? She barely knew the man, really, and he claimed to be cursed, for heaven’s sake! That on top of being sullen and surly. And still, she had the inexplicable urge to be near him, was irresistibly drawn to him.Longed to kiss him… She laughed at herself.So she had an urge to be in the presence of a sullen and brooding man who was rude to her more often than not, and didn’t trust her one bit. She must have gone stark raving mad since arriving at Tulloch!But it was there… the pull… she felt it like a living thing.
