Chapter 8
By the next morning, after spending a largely sleepless night, Caen had decided it was Ella he was angry at for the way she had made him almost lose control. It was at least better than feeling so vulnerable.Never mind thathewas keeping her here, and that it washewho had gone into her room to watch her sleep. She seemed to be always in his thoughts, and yet he still didn’t know the first thing about her. He knew her name; that was all. It angered him even more that he was thinking about her being in his thoughts.God’s blood!But there was something about her, something that made him long to pull her close and forget the past. To have her naked in his arms and make love to her slowly and gently, and to claim her violently like some wild beast. The urge was primitive and powerful, beyond all rational thought. Damn her for appearing out of nowhere to plague him with such desires!
He slipped out early so he would be sure to avoid her. By leaving at dawn, he could easily make it to Rossmoor and back in a single day. The only problem, of course, was that the long ride left him alone with only his thoughts, and his thoughts kept turning back to Ella.Curse the damned bloody day I found her! She had turned his whole world upside down without even trying. Never had he wanted so badly to believe the curse was just a legend, but he knew that wasn’t so. Something had happened all those years ago when his father had disappeared, and what deal the man had made with the devil, he couldn’t fathom. But the end result was his own heartbreak. These past days, his mind had turned unbidden to dreams he had thought long banished. Having Ella here, even though he barely knew her and couldn’t trust her, was changing him. Her spirit and gently teasing nature had actually made him want to smile, made himwantto behappy. What would it be like to have a woman like her love him? To come home from a battle hardwon and see her rush out to greet him, his own bairns following on her heels? He hadn’t let himself think about these things in years, not since he had finally admitted to himself that the curse was real. All of those women, all of those nights spent in the arms of one he didn’t love. Or sometimes he didn’t even spend the whole night, but callously left them right after the act. Aye, they would give him anything he asked for because he was Laird, but not one of them had been able to give him a child. Not one. And in the end he had only felt more empty and alone than ever before.He was not proud of that time in his life, and he hadn’t lain with a woman in three long years. In truth it had been no hardship. He could no longer bear any pretense of closeness, of intimacy, where none existed. It had begun to feel cheap and vulgar. A useless act, when his own hand behind closed doors was release enough when he needed it. He had been fine… perfectly fine, until Ella had come along and awakened lust in him again.
So lost in his thoughts was he that he barely noticed when Rossmoor came into sight. He hailed the guard and rode into the bailey as the gate opened. Leaving his horse to the groom, he reluctantly entered the keep. Ross was at the dais, having his afternoon meal. When he saw Ceann, he looked surprised enough, and hurriedly stood to greet him. “Ceann? What brings you here lad? We didn’t expect you! Come, sit down and join me for a meal. You look well.”Ceann sat down with his uncle, but declined to eat anything. In truth, he wasn’t hungry. He eyed the food suspiciously. Though he hadn’t really ever thought about it, he realized now that he had never liked Ross. He tolerated him because he was family, but he and his father’s younger brother had never been close. There was something… unsavory about the man, though he wasn’t sure exactly what.
“Where is Hugh?” he asked, realizing his cousin wasn’t in the hall.
Ross smiled, his pride in his son showing on his face. “No doubt he’s still on the lists, or if not, he’s probably tumbling some lass or another, as young men are wont to do.” His uncle laughed heartily and slapped Ceann on the back. “And how about you?Have you a favorite lass at the moment? We’ve all been wondering if you’ll ever get around towedding and bedding. You seem to be enjoying bachelorhood a bit too much, eh?”
Ceann shook his head. “No Uncle, one lass is as good as the next, as far as I’m concerned. I have no wish to be tied down yet. There’s time enough for that.”
“Aye, you’re right, some of the worst years of my life, when your aunt Janet was alive. Who needs all that nettling and weeping? Women are only good for one thing, if you ask me, and you don’t need to wed them for that.” His gaze turned speculative. “But what brings you here unannounced, nephew? It seems to me it’s been nigh on four months since I saw you last.”
“Aye, well I only came back from fighting for the Duke a few weeks ago, as you know. And of course it takes some work to get things back in order again at home... I was out riding the borders and thought I’d put in an appearance, since I was nearby. And… I wanted to ask you about something.”
Ross raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair a bit. “Aye?”
“I want to know if you’ve seen a certain lass, one who claims to have been here at Rossmoor recently.”
Ross broke into a lewd grin. “Well, then the answer is aye, I’ve seen several lasses. I saw one or two in my bed just last night in fact.”
Ceann was quickly growing tired of his uncle’s poor attempts at bawdy humor. It seemed to him to be out of place, almost as if he were trying to draw his attention from something else…No, he was reading too much into things.
“No, Uncle, a particular lass, with blond hair and blue eyes. Quite pretty. Have you seen anyone like that?” He watched Ross carefully, but could read nothing from his face.
The man rubbed his chin as if he tried to remember. “I would certainly like to see a lass such as that, but no, I haven’t. Pretty, you say?”
“Aye. Someone saw her near here, just yesterday in fact.”Ceann was still watching his uncle’s eyes, and he thought he saw a flash of something,anger?before he carefully hid it. He couldn’t be sure of what he had seen, but it was enough to plant a tiny seed of doubt.
“No, there was no such lass here, at least not that I know about. And I make it my business to know all what lovely lasses pass through my gates.” He tilted his head and eyed Ceann. “Is she something to you lad?Your woman, perhaps?”
Ceann shook his head. “No, I have no particular woman, as I’ve said. She’s just someone who was under my care for a few days until she can be returned to her kin, and she went missing…”
“Cousin! Ah, it’s good to see you!”
Both men looked up to see Hugh just coming into the great hall. “Ceann, it’s been too long since we last saw you.Will you be staying for a visit, then?”His face didn’t match his words; Hugh did not look at all happy to see him here.Ceann had never been close to his cousin, any more than he had to his uncle; and he never would be. He tolerated them only because Ross was his father’s younger brother. Artair had given Rossmoor to him, for his loyalty or some such nonsense; the man had no loyalty but to himself. Sometimes Ceann wondered if his father had just wanted him out of Tulloch.Hugh was no better than Ross.It was one of Ceann’s biggest regrets that since he had no other living kin, should he fall in battle, Hugh would inherit all that was his. Should he live long enough, Hugh’s son would be the next laird. Not that he had a son yet, at least not a legitimate one, but Hugh was betrothed to a MacIntyre, to be wed in the spring. The poor lass was very young and likely would not fare well at Rossmoor. Hugh could be quite cruel, he had seen it when they were boys, and he doubted things had changed much.He pitied the life the lass would probably have to endure as his wife.
Suddenly Ceann wanted to return to Tulloch with an urgency he had never felt before. He told himself it was all of the work left undone, weighing on his shoulders. Or maybe just the distaste he felt for his only relations. “Actually, cousin, I can’t stay. I only stopped in on my way through. I have many matters to take care of, having been away from home these last months.”Ceann bid the men farewell, mumbling about getting back to see to repairs in the village and such. Though Ross protested his leaving so hastily and encouraged Ceann to stay thenight, his sincerity did not ring true. His Uncle didn’t want him here, either. Some family he had!
He swung his powerful body onto Fallon’s strong back and with a cursory wave, rode fast for home.Another wasted trip. He didn’t know what he had expected to learn. He still had doubts that Ross had been involved with taking Ella from Tulloch. But even if he had tried to take her, had he thought the man would simply admit to it?
Oh, Aye, Ceann. I took her. Broke right in and dragged her through the old tunnel.The tunnel…Ross would have known about it… He shook off the growing suspicion. It didn’t make any sense.
He already suspected that the sighting of men on the border was a ploy to get him out of the way. And it had worked. Then why was Ella sent back so soon? Was she telling the truth… had she really escaped? He threw his head back in frustration.Nothingmade sense.But one thing was becoming clearer to him. Perhaps he needed to rethink making Hugh heir to Tulloch. He had done so years ago, during one of the darkest times of his life. Now, with a little time and distance, he was beginning to see that the people of Tulloch would not fare well under his cousin’s iron fist, and his first responsibility was to them.Hugh would have Rossmoor, but Tulloch… no, there had to be another way. He would call a meeting with his council soon to see what could be done.
***
Ceann strapped on his sword and headed again to the lists for morning practice. He needed to work out some of his mounting anger and confusion, and fighting was the only way he knew. Two hours later, having sparred with at least ten of his best men and covered in the sweat and dust of his efforts, he felt no less uneasy.
As he walked back toward the keep, swearing under his breath with a steady stream of vile curses, he looked up to see Ella just coming out of the door, swinging a basket in one hand.He stopped cursing and watched her. She was no doubt headed to the gardens on some errand or another.He was astonished at how quickly and fully she had embraced life at Tulloch. What had he thought? That she would sit inher room and weep because he kept her here against her will? Instead she did everything she could to help, from watching children to cleaning floors. When he had returned last night from Rossmoor and gone to look in on James, Elizabeth had told him how well Ella had tended him. The girl babbled on about how she knew just what herbs to use and how to stitch the wound just so, and how much improved James was already. Ceann had to admit, the lad no longer looked to be at death’s door.Everything about Ella was the opposite of what he expected. Maybe that was the reason he found her so intriguing. Yes, that must be it, he thought with relief. She was an enigma that had captivated his attention only until the mystery was solved. Once he knew who she was, he would be able to put her from his mind. She looked up and saw him then, her eyes sparkling, her mouth turned up ever so slightly at the corners. She was so very beautiful, yet she did not even seem to know it. Most women he had known with even half her beauty had been arrogant with it, even mean, but Ella was none of that. Instead she brought smiles to everyone she met, and even he had noticed how the very castle seemed lighter with her in it. He stepped forward and stopped her near the garden gate.
Ceann took her chin in his hand and gently tipped her face up to look at his. “Where do you come from, lass?”
Ella returned his steady gaze. She thought she might drown in the depths of his haunted sea-green eyes.“I can’t tell you that.You must understand, I made a vow. I never break a vow.”
He pulled his hand away from her face, those same eyes sparking with sudden anger.“Then I won’t let you go.”
