Ben sways in place, holding on to the mic stand to keep himself upright. His guitar, hanging by its strap against his torso, is nothing but a prop. “What do you say we sing this next one together?” he asks the crowd.
It’s the first good idea he’s had all night.
They cheer, and Ben launches into an a cappella version of “She’s Gone.” It’s his most popular song, and, as asked, the crowd sings along.
I approach Hannah first. She’s ordering another shot at the bar. Catching the bartender’s eye, I look pointedly at Hannah and slice the air at my neck to indicate he needs to cut her off. He nods once, fills a plastic cup with tonic water, drops a lime in it, and slides it to her. “This one’s on me,” he says, and she accepts it without question.
I mouth, “Thank you,” before turning to Hannah. “We need to do something. Ben’s in no condition to perform, and this will find its way online. He doesn’t need that. He’s only going to embarrass himself.”
She sloppily takes a sip of the drink, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, shrugs, and says, “Let him.And fuck him.” Her red-rimmed eyes are slits. She’s drunker than I thought,andshe’s been crying.
Shit.
Just then I feel a body press in behind me, a hand resting on my hip. I’m about to turn around and tell whoever it is to get their goddamn hands off me, when he leans down, lips to the shell of my ear, and says, “This can’t go on. Ben’s wasted.” It’s Ever.
I don’t know if touching has become second nature because we’re comfortable or we just can’t keep our hands off each other. Either way, I’m here for it.
There’s no room to turn around and face him, so I cup my hand over my mouth to project my voice and shield it from Hannah. “Hannah’s done too. She needs to lie down in your van. Where’s Jesse?”
He rests his chin on my shoulder. “He’s holding court out in the beer garden, and he’s as fucked up as these two.”
“I’ll get Hannah in the van, you get Jesse in the van, and then we’ll deal with Ben together?”
I feel his chin nod on my shoulder. “Sounds like a plan. If you get to the van before we do, it’s unlocked.” He squeezesmy shoulders, his thumbs rubbing circles in the tight muscles, “Good luck herding your cat,” drops a quick kiss on top of my head, like he does it all the time, and turns to leave.
The warmth that spreads through me is instantaneous. I’d love to analyze it, but we have drunk adults to babysit—and they outnumber us.
“Come on, Hannah. It’s time to—” My words cut off when I realize she’s no longer standing next to me. I scan the immediate area, and she’s gone.
The women’s restroom is close, so I check there first. It’s full, and after checking every stall, I don’t see her. I’m a worrier, but it’s not often I feel full-on dread. The kind that makes your stomach turn. It’s mounting.
Pushing through the crowd, I repeat, “Sorry, excuse me,” over and over.
There’s no sign of her. She’s a drunk woman in a building full of men, and that terrifies me.
The crowd quiets when Ben does. The song must be over. Or they’ve all forgotten the words—it’s hard to tell.
Ben takes the mic from the stand and starts pacing back and forth across the stage. He’s a clumsy, caged animal, increasingly agitated. The laidback guy I’ve been traveling with is gone.
“What did you guys think of Thicker Than Water?” he asks.
The crowd cheers.
“Yeah? You like ‘em?”
The crowd cheers again.
“You know, Jesse and I go way back?” He doesn’t wait for a response, but nods and reaffirms, “Way back. And I tried to be a good friend and invite him and his brother to come out on the road with me, you know, do ‘em a favor cuz he’s goin’ through some shit.” He’s still pacing, but his voice is getting louder, angrier.
It’s then that I spot Hannah. We’re both on the floor in front of the stage, but on opposite sides.
She’s pointing at Ben. Her lips are moving, but I can’t hear what she’s saying.
Ben can.
“You have somethin’ to say? Why don’t you come up here, babe,” he says into the mic.
I’m trying to push through the front row to get to her, yelling, “Hannah!” to get her attention. Everyone around me is standing their ground, and most of them are bigger than I am.
