Harper’s heart sank. She couldn’t even look at her friend. This was supposed to be Tara’s big day. Everything today was supposed to be about Tara and Max, and the last thing Harper would have wanted was to make it about her own personal drama.
“Look at me,” Tara insisted.
Harper turned to face her, and Tara gasped. “Oh, my God,” she said again. “Youarepregnant. I can see it on your face. Don’t bother trying to lie to me about it. You’re a terrible liar.”
“I never meant to lie to you,” Harper said. “I just didn’t want to make your day all about me.”
“Don’t worry about that! Harper, when did you find out?”
“About a week ago. I was going to tell you after you got back from the honeymoon.”
“So, you… you’ve decided to go through with it?”
Harper let out a sigh. “You know I’ve always wanted to be a mother,” she said. “Now life is giving me that opportunity, and I’m not going to throw it back. I know the situation is a little bit crazy, but this might be the only chance I get to have a child of my own.”
“But who’s the father? I mean, it’s that guy you went out with a few weeks ago, right? The one you told me you were never going to see again?”
“Yes, it’s that guy.”
“Have you told him? What did he say? Is he going to be involved? Is he excited?” Tara was practically bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “When do I get to meet the guy?”
“Oh, my God. That’s so many questions.”
“Well, I have a lot of questions! I can’t believe you’re pregnant and you didn’t tell me!”
“I’ll answer anything you want me to,” Harper promised, even though she knew it was a lie. She would have a conversation with her friend about this, of course, but she had no idea whether she would ever tell Tara who her baby’s father was. She certainly couldn’t tell Tara before she had told Theo. And she had made up her mind not to tell Theo until the wedding was over. At thatpoint, there would be nothing tying the two of them together. There would be nothing compelling her to ever see him again if he decided he didn’t want to be involved with their child. They would be able to cut ties and go their separate ways, and that would be for the best.
Even though it didn’t exactly feel that way right now.
CHAPTER 21
HARPER
As she walked down the aisle, it was impossible for Harper not to picture the future she knew that she would never have.
This was what her wedding day would have been like. The way she had always pictured it. Of course, she would’ve been in a white ball gown instead of this green bridesmaid dress, and several of the other details would have been different as well. Her colors would’ve been different. Her wedding would’ve been outdoors instead of inside. But this part… this would have been the same. Harper walking down the aisle toward a handsome man who looked at her like she was the only woman in the world.
Because there was something about the way Theo was looking at her… it was almost as if he had never seen her before.
It felt to Harper as if it had been a very long time since the two of them had seen one another. It had actually been only a few weeks, but he had lived so actively in her imagination that his physical absence had felt dramatic. Seeing him now felt like seeing something she had needed, craved even. There was no chance he was feeling that. But seeing her clearly meantsomethingto him. Maybe it was just that he wanted to have a conversation after the way they had spent so much time apart.
Over the course of her walk down the aisle, she had come to feel as though she was walking toward Theo specifically. As if they were the only two people in the room. When she reached the front, it came as something of a surprise to remember that there were other people here, and that this event wasn’t actually about Harper and Theo. She made the turn just in time and took her position at the head of the bridesmaids to wait for her friend to walk down the aisle herself.
As the music changed, signaling the bride’s arrival, everyone turned to look at Tara. But Harper hesitated. For a moment, she lingered, looking directly at Theo, who was looking directly back at her.
The bridal music swelled, and Harper felt again as though this moment was just for her.
She allowed herself to feel it. This was Tara’s day, and Harper would never do anything to take away from that. But what was the harm in fantasizing just a little bit? She let herself daydream that this washerwedding day, that she was the one getting married, and that the handsome man across from her was going to be her husband. That he would be the father of their child and that they would raise that child together.
Then she reminded herself that that wasn’t what Theo wanted, and forced herself to let go of the fantasy.
She turned her attention to Tara, who was walking down the aisle now. Tara joined hands with Max at the front of the church, and the two of them faced the officiant to say their vows.
Harper took a deep breath and tried to focus on what was going on in front of her. She did her best not to look over at Theo again, because she knew that if she did, her mind would go to the conversation that lay ahead. She didn’t want to think about that right now.
Of course, she was going to have to tell him about the baby. That wasn’t even a question. He had the right to know, and besides, she wanted him to know. Whether anybody else would ever know was still up in the air, because if he told her he didn’t want to be involved with their child at all, it would be her secret to keep. She might never tell. She might allow Tara to go on thinking that she had had a random one-night stand, and that it had resulted in pregnancy. There was no need for her to know anything more…
Except, she realized as she watched Tara and Max exchange their rings, that the baby would be related to Tara now. Max would be this baby’s uncle by blood, and that would make Tara the baby’s aunt.
