About whether I'm brave enough to find out.
"Show me," I say. "Not just the room. Show me what happens here."
Shaw turns to face me fully, and the intensity in his eyes makes my breath catch. "You sure about that?"
"No. But I'm asking anyway."
"Fair enough." He gestures toward a smaller door along the back wall. "Private rooms are through here. More intimate space, better for negotiation and scenes that need privacy."
The hallway holds several doors, each marked with numbers rather than signs. Shaw leads me to the end, keys in a code, and pushes the door open.
It's smaller than the main space but somehow feels exactly right. Warm lighting, exposed brick, a bed with dark sheets dominating the center. Restraint points at each corner. A table along one wall holds equipment I recognize and some I don't.
"Sit." He gestures to the bed, the command delivered with certainty I'll obey.
My body responds before my brain finishes processing. I sit.
He pulls a chair close, positioning it so our knees almost touch, and the proximity makes my pulse kick up. "We need to establish ground rules. Basic negotiation before anything happens."
"Okay."
"Traffic light safewords. Green means continue. Yellow means slow down, check in, something feels wrong but you don't want to stop completely. Red means stop immediately, scene ends, no questions asked." His eyes hold mine, making sure I'm absorbing every word. "When you say red, everything stops. I don't ask why, I don't negotiate, I don't try to convince you to keep going. Your word ends the scene. Clear?"
"Clear."
"Good. Now tell me your hard limits. Things you absolutely won't do."
I think for a moment, cataloging what Todd did that made me feel trapped, humiliated, broken. "No marks. No breath restriction. Nothing that makes me feel trapped or degraded."
Shaw nods once. "Light restraints okay?"
"Yes."
"Blindfolds?"
"No."
"Being told what to do?"
Heat floods my face, but I hold his gaze. "Yes."
"Good. When we're in scene, you call me Sir. Outside the scene, I'm Shaw. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?"
I swallow hard. "Yes, Sir."
It's different in my mouth than it was with Todd. Not shameful or degrading. Just acknowledgment of structure, of roles we're choosing to explore.
Shaw stands and offers his hand. "Come with me. Time to find out what you're actually capable of."
His hand is warm, callused, steady against my palm. I let him pull me to my feet. My heart hammers against my ribs, fear and anticipation mixing until I can't separate them.
"Take off your sweater."
I pull it over my head, leaving me in the black tank top I wore underneath. His eyes track the movement, lingering on exposed skin before returning to my face.
