Her axeglinted in the light.
“Squire,”Zaria said.“Can I be honest with you?”
“Youcan call me a different name, first.”
“You’vealways reminded me of my little brother.We called him Lem.Little Lem.”
Isaaclooked down at his tattered robes.He had lost a considerable amount of weightsince the start of his journey.“In a good way?”
Shequirked a smile.“He was a feisty little cunt.”
Isaaccleared his throat.
“Not myreal brother, mind.Just another urchin my father let in off the street.He washuman—like you.Had dartin’ little eyes.Must’ve been sick as a babe ‘causehalf his face was yellow and sunken, like a dropped apple.He never spoke aword, and none of us were sure if he even could.Since he wouldn’t give a name,he was Lemon, or Lem, on account of his face.He didn’t like it much.”
She scratchedher chin, gazing into the floor.
“I wasthe oldest, which meant I was in charge of keeping all the young beasts fed andclothed and not pinched by the guard.I’d make rounds, roaming around the usualhaunts.Out them all, Lem was the hardest to find.You would not see a hair ofhim if he didn’t want you to.Sometimes, I’d catch him hiding out in therafters above the shop, and he’d hardly look different than the rats.
“Anyway,with Lem, you know, it was like feeding a stray dog.He’d look at you realmean-like, nab it from your hands, and scamper back off to the shadows.Alwaysacted like I was about to slit his throat, like he’d got no earthly idea whatto make of kindness.”
Shelooked at Isaac.He felt an urge to glance away.
“Still,rain or shine, I’d track that little shite down and give him some bread.I’doften have to haul him over to a sawbones to fix some scrapes from a fight.Once, I had to pin him and shave his head for the lice, and I’ve never had sucha vicious struggle from another creature.Nothing would ever change with him.Neither of us were droppin’ our stubbornness toward each other, and I neveronce got a word of thanks.But, hey, he stayed alive.That’s what counts.
“Except,one day, no different than the others, I’m walking through a back alley, and Isee Lem waitin’ for me.This was my own secret route, so I knew right away hemust’ve followed me.The second I lay eyes on him, he rushes forward, thrustssomething in my hand, hugs me tight ‘round the waist, and disappears down thealley.Fast as a blink.
“I openmy hand, and there was this little flower sitting inside.It was glowing.Realpretty.Some magic plant, probably from a garden in the mage district.Notsomething he’d come by on accident.”
Sheopened her hand, staring into the palm.
“Lemwas never quite normal, after that, but I’d catch him playing games with theother kids, and he also finally went to chippin’ infor all the taxes, and, god above, that little cunt could earn coin better thanthe rest of us.He even started comin’ out with me, on the rounds to check theother kids.Once he trusted my intention, he was as bold as you like.He stillnever talked, but I kept chattin’ with him, all the same.”
Shesnorted.
“Oh, hehatedme teasing him.Course, that just meant Ihad to keep doing it.Every once in a moon, I’d get him to smile.”
Shelooked his way for a moment.Her eyes were far away.
“Whenyou live a life like I do, you make a lot of excuses for it.It’s the way ofthe world.It’s self-defense.You got no choice.And that’s all true, but itnever helped me sleep at night.I’d get to thinking about—well, what was Idoing being alive?What kind of value was I adding to the world?If I was todie, then and there, could anyone really say it was such a bad thing?”
Herfingers tapped against the haft of her weapon.
“Idunno,” Zaria said.“I lost that flower, when my father sold me away.Still,when I had it, I’d look at it some nights, watching it glow, seein’ the way it never rotted, and I’d get this feeling inmy chest, this sorta certainty that, if someone got in my face and called me athief and asked what good I’d ever done for anybody, I could just point rightat that flower.I could say there was this human boy named Lem, and he’d beenkicked around all his life, and I was the first person who’d ever made him happy.”
Sheglanced at his father.The bones had all rested still, like a mass grave hungup on a wall.
“Stilldon’t know what I want to do with my life, now that I’m not a pirate.But,after thinkin’ on it a while, I do know one thing.I want that feeling backagain.I want to have something that I can point to and be proud of.I wantsome proof my life actually made a good difference in the world.”
Isaacwaited for a moment.“So ...?”
“So,”Zaria said, hefting her axe, “let’s get going already.Your uncle’s gaining alead on us.”
Somethingodd happened to him.He felt his face teem with a blush, which travelled downto his chest and stomach, oscillating between a burning heat and numbingshiver.His knees began to feel weak, and his heart pounded in his chest.Itwas the first time in his life he had ever felt this way.The longer he watchedher, the worse the feeling grew.
Outwardly,he nodded, doing his best to clamp down on his smile.He turned back to themound of bones.“Father?”
Theskull stalk reared back, as if surprised.Many arms pointed to the open bronzedoors.
