She turned to face him with one hand on the door. “I need you to leave. I’m done with you. And me? Well, I’ve got somewhere important that I need to be.”
Callum looked bewildered as he stared back at her. “You’re serious? You’re just gonna?—”
“I’m not discussing Jo with you ever again.” Amelia shook her head. “You and I are done, Callum. Get your belongings and get out ofmyfucking house.”
Amelia was out the door before the conversation could continue. The air hit her lungs, and she finally felt alive again, but her son’s opinion of her remained firm in her mind. She hadn’t gone back to that place in a long time, and right now, it couldn’t affect the rest of her day. Jo needed to see her, and Amelia wouldalwaysshow up, fully present, when that was the case.
She slid into her car with nothing but her phone and keys on her person. No bag, no plan, no defences. Just a woman with her heart in tatters, driving back towards the only person who’d ever made her feel like Amelia and Lia were worth loving at all.
Jo had been pacingthe living room for over twenty minutes. Her phone sat on the coffee table, the screen facing up, but she couldn’t look at it without feeling sick. She wasn’t even sure whyshe’d sent that text to Amelia. It had burst out of her like a reflex—raw, desperate,honest—and now it was just there…hovering between them like a bomb waiting to go off.
She wrapped her arms around herself, stopping at the window to peer through the blinds for the third time in two minutes. What if Amelia didn’t come?But what if she does?
Jo pressed her forehead to the glass and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. One minute, she was furious, heartbroken, and betrayed. The next, she was aching for Amelia like her bodyonlyknew her.
She missed her. Not just in bed and not just at Satin. She missed the woman who, at one time, used to bring wine over and sprawl out on her couch. The woman who often challenged her to say what she really meant. The woman who looked at her like Jo wasn’t someone who needed fixing, but someone who had already survived the worst of it.
Jo pulled back from the window and rubbed at her eyes. She was tired of feeling this way. Torn in two. Wishing Lia had never existed, then wishing she could fall back into that dark room just one more time.
“Fuck!”
Her flat still smelled like Amelia. Her perfume lingered in the fabric of the couch where she’d sat and cried the other night, clinging to Jo’s senses as though it didn’t know how to let go either. Jo sat in the very same spot, staring at her flat door. Her leg bounced anxiously as one hand tugged the hem of her hoodie down. God, she needed to pull herself together, whether Amelia showed or not.
“What the hell are you going to say if shedoesshow?”
Thanks for ruining everything?
I miss you so much it physically hurts?
I don’t know how to hate you properly because I still want to kiss you every time you look at me?
She scrubbed her hands over her face and exhaled a calming breath. She wasn’t okay, not by a long stretch of the imagination, and if Amelia didn’t turn up tonight…
Jo froze when there was a soft knock at the door. She eventually rose to her feet, her knees barely carrying her, and moved across the room. She didn’t enjoy the way her heart raced, because right now,nothingwas okay between them. She would have preferred her heart to race for other reasons.
When she opened the door, Amelia gazed back at her. She was still beautiful, and she was still as composed as ever, but her eyes were swollen, her coat was unbuttoned and hanging off one shoulder, and she looked like she’d left in such a rush that she hadn’t even thought to bring her bag.
Jo’s lips parted. So many things she wanted to say were just waiting to be unleashed, but they remained lodged in her throat. She hadn’t expected Amelia to look so broken standing in front of her.
Jo finally stepped aside. “Come in.”
Amelia stepped past her carefully, almost as though she didn’t trust her legs to carry her. Her eyes skimmed the room, not quite landing anywhere, and Jo could see the tremble in her hands as she pulled her coat tighter around herself.
God, this is going to be a tough conversation.
Jo closed the door and turned around, watching Amelia as she stood in the centre of the living room, looking like she didn’t belong there anymore. And maybe she didn’t, but the ache in Jo’s chest told her shewantedher to.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here any sooner,” Amelia said, not meeting Jo’s eyes. “Things aren’t great at home, and I just needed to pull over for five minutes to get myself together.”
“What’s happened?”
“It’s not important. Not right now. You texted…and here I am.” Amelia did look up this time, slowly, her bottom liptrembling as she locked eyes with Jo. “Is everything okay? I didn’t think you wanted to see me again.”
Jo swallowed. “I didn’t, not really, but I couldn’t stop thinking about everything.”
“Look, you’re not the first to want me out of your life, and you won’t be the last, but if you’ve called me over here just to kick me while I’m down, then I have to leave. I can’t deal with it right now.” Amelia shoved her shaking hands into her pockets, blinking a single tear away. “I deservewhateveryou want to throw at me, and Iwillstand here and take the full force of it…but please, not tonight. If I have to beg you not to do this tonight, I will.”
Something in Amelia’s voice was beginning to worry Jo. This wasn’t the woman she knew. It wasn’t the woman who had always had such striking confidence. It certainly wasn’t the woman who had pretended to be Lia. “I…just wanted to talk.”
