There it was. The silence in the room was deafening. Jo didn’t flinch, she didn’t speak, and her jaw was set so tightly that Amelia was worried it might snap.
“I’m trying to do the right thing,” Amelia’s voice broke. “For once, I’m trying to keep usbothfrom getting hurt.”
Jo looked back at her, tears slowly trickling down her face. “So this is it? After trying to figure out if we couldeverpossibly be together…that’s it?”
“It has to be.”
“R-right.”
“But that’s not all,” Amelia’s stomach was roiling over and over again. “There’s something else you need to know.”
Jo sat up straight. “There’s more?”
Amelia nodded slowly. She couldn’t look the woman she secretly loved in the eye ever again. “It’s about Lia.”
That name. It physically shifted something in the room.
Jo frowned. “What about her?”
“I…amLia.”
Jo glared, every emotion crossing her face as she frowned further. “What?”
“I’m Lia.” Amelia’s throat burned, and her heart… Well, she wasn’t sure it was still in her chest. “I’ve been her the entire time. From the very first night in the dark room.”
“No.” Jo slowly rose to her feet, her hands shaking at her sides. “You’re joking. Ada’s put you up to this and really…you’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“What the fuck, Amelia?! You…you let me—” Jo’s voice cracked with disbelief. “I’ve said things to her, done things…toyou, thinking…Jesus Christ.”
“I know,” Amelia rose to her feet and stepped closer to Jo. “I know, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Jo paced as she ran her hands through her hair. “You lied to me. You let me pour my heart out to someone I thought was a stranger while you sat there in the fucking dark, pretending it wasn’t you.”
“I never meant for it to go this far.”
“But it did!” Jo snapped, the fury in her eyes intense. “You listened while I said all those things. You let me say them. You let me fuck you and talk about you…while you pretended to be someone else.”
“I was trying to give you what you needed.”
“You have no idea what I needed!”
Amelia stepped back, stunned by the venom in Jo’s voice, but she didn’t blame her. Oh, no. She’d earned this. “I thought it would help you,” Amelia whispered, every memory she had with Jo flashing before her eyes. “I thought maybe it was better that way. Safer.”
“Safer for who?” Jo’s voice trembled. “For you?”
“I didn’t want to lose you.” Amelia’s hands shook, but she continued. “I couldn’t stand the idea of not having you in some way. I know I should have been honest the first night you walked into that room, but…I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing you.”
Jo looked at Amelia like she didn’t recognise her anymore. She glared from across the room, disgust etched on that beautiful face. “You’ve already lost me.”
And with that, Jo turned towards the door.
“Please, Jo.” Amelia’s voice broke as tears spilled down her cheeks. “Please, don’t walk away from me.”
The door opened, then slammed shut. Amelia stood alone in Jo’s flat, her chest hollow.
Lia was gone. Jo was gone. And now…all she had left was the glaring truth and a tremendous guilt.
