Amelia frowned. “For what?”
“For the other night. For choosing the club and Lia over dinner with you. I shouldn’t have done that.” God, Jo couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. Right now, she was just grateful that Amelia hadn’t turned her down in return.
Amelia searched her face. “You were honest about it. That’s more than most people would have been.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
When the space around them fell silent again, Jo thought that Amelia wasn’t going to respond to that, but then she leaned forward slightly, her hands folded neatly on the table. “I don’t blame you. We said we wouldn’t let this get complicated.”
“It’s… I…” Jo took a breath and exhaled it slowly. “It’s already complicated, Amelia.”
Amelia simply nodded.
“I’ve spent weeks trying to separate how I feel about you and how I feel about…everything else, but I can’t. You’re always there in my head.”
Amelia looked away and visibly swallowed. Jo caught the flicker of something as it settled on her face. Pain, maybe…or fear. “I don’t know what we’re doing,” Amelia admitted. “I don’t knowhowwe do this.”
“Me neither.”
Silence again. God, Johatedsilence. She’d spent so much time alone in it since Callum had broken her heart. So, she focused on Amelia, wanting dinner to be as pleasant as possible. She just wished the small furrow between her brows would eventually smooth out before the night was over. It had been there since the moment she’d sat down.
“I had a shoot this afternoon,” Jo said, trying to ease the weight between them. “My client…she asked if I was dating.”
Amelia smiled faintly. “And what did you say?”
“I told her it was complicated.” Jo hesitated. “She asked me out.”
Amelia’s brows lifted a little at that.
“She was lovely. Smart, gorgeous, confident…”
A shadow crossed Amelia’s face, but she managed a slight smile. “Did you say yes?”
“No. I told her I wasn’t in the right place.”
Amelia looked down at the table, her expression unreadable.
“Because I’m not.” Jo leaned in. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Jo—”
“I don’t expect anything from you, Amelia. I know what we agreed, and I’ll respect that, but I will admit that I wanted to see you tonight purely because I miss you.” Jo’s voice almost betrayed her. “You’ve always been there, and you’ve always cared. You’ve always made me laugh and smile when life doesn’t feel great. You just…I miss you, okay?”
Amelia visibly swallowed.
“I know we can’t be together. I know that I’m not lucky enough to be with you, even if you said you didn’t care about the fact that I used to date Callum. But I can’t change how I feel, and while I know I should avoid moments like this for my own sanity, I don’t want to risk pushing you away or losing you.”
Amelia reached for her water and took a slow sip. “This…scares me,” she said that so quietly that Jo had to wonder if she’d meant to say it out loud at all. “I’ve built a life that doesn’t make space for this kind of thing.”
“I’m not asking you to make space for any of this…for me. I do, however, have to stop pretending that this isn’t real.”
Amelia focused on the glass in front of her, something shifting in the air, and then Jo saw it. Beneath the composure and beneath the careful restraint…feeling. Raw and deep feeling.
“I didn’t think I’d ever…” Amelia trailed off, exhaling slowly. “I never imagined it would beyou.”
Saddened by what she was about to say, Jo dipped her head and caught Amelia’s eye. “Don’t worry, it won’t be.”
The server reappeared with their drinks, a notepad in his hand as he looked between them. Neither of them had paid any attention to the menu, so Jo quickly lifted it and ordered a few sharing dishes between them.
