I was quiet, letting his words sink in. “Daisy doesn't see it that way.”
“Daisy is dealing with her own shit right now. She's about to sleep with Jeremy, which is bringing up all her trauma from her ex. She's probably projecting some of her anxiety onto you.”
“That’s what I thought…”
“Look,” Derek continued, “I'm not saying Daisy and Nova don't have a point. Maybe you could text more, check in more often. But that's something you can work on without deciding you're fundamentally broken and unable to maintain relationships. You hear me?”
“I understand,” I whispered.
“Good. Because I'm not done defending your honor.”
A wet laugh escaped me. “There's more?”
“Oh, so much more. Should I mention how you dropped everything to chase after me when I had my post-game breakdown? How you drove my car...terribly, I might add...just to distract me?”
“You needed those things...”
“And you provided them. Without being asked. Without expecting anything in return. That's what friendship is, Rosie. It's showing up when it matters.” He paused. “And you always show up for me.”
Tears burned behind my eyes. “You show up for me, too.”
“Then we're good at this,” Derek said simply. “We're good at being there for each other. And that's the foundation of... us.”
Us. The words hung in the air between us.
“Derek?” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Yeah?”
“I like the sound of… us.”
“I'm serious, Rosie. I care about you. More than I've cared about anyone. And that scares the shit out of me because I've spent my whole life watching my parents destroy each other inthe name of love. I don't know how to do this without screwing it up.”
“I don't either,” I confessed. “I've never even had a boyfriend. I don't know the rules. I don't know how often I'm supposed to text you, or when it's okay to call, or if I'm being clingy, or...”
“There are no rules,” Derek interrupted gently. “That's what I'm learning. There's no timeline, no checklist, no perfect way to do this. We just... figure it out as we go.”
“But what if I'm terrible at it? What if I'm as bad at relationships as I am at friendships?”
“You're not bad at friendships, we've established this. And even if you were, which you're not, I'm probably worse. I literally built my entire personality around avoiding emotional connections.”
I smiled despite my tears. “We're kind of a mess, aren't we?”
“The messiest,” he agreed, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “But maybe that's okay. Maybe we're supposed to be a mess together.”
“Together,” I repeated softly. “I like the sound of that.”
“Me too.” He was quiet for a moment. “Rosie, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why did you really call me? I mean, I'm glad you did. But this feels like more than just Daisy's comments.”
I bit my lip, debating how honest to be. But this was Derek. If I couldn't be honest with him, who could I be honest with?
“I'm scared,” I admitted. “Of us. How much I like you. Of how much I'm starting to need you.”
“Need me?”
