“We don't really text,” I replied defensively, making her laugh even more. Because we didn't. We just talked through our playlist, which was stupid, but I couldn't explain the little dance my heart did every time he uploaded a new song. This week, I sent him a song with the lyric“You make me braver than I’d ever been,”andhe immediately texted me.
Dex
Subtle.
You got the message?
Dex
Loud and clear.
I still kept blushing whenever I thought of that small exchange.
“Then whatever it is you guys do that has you blushing like that,” Daisy corrected as she enjoyed her pepperoni pizza.
I placed the piece back on my plate and glanced at her. “Do you think it's stupid that I'm crushing on him?”
“So, youarecrushing on him,” she arched a challenging brow, and I threw a napkin her way. “It's cute. I haven't seen you interested in any guys for real. And even if it doesn't work out, you can at least move on from losing your V-card to him. It's better if you actually like the person, and let's face it. You haven't really found anyone else you remotely like.”
I felt my face grimace. “I don’t just want to lose my V-card; I would have done that. I want the real thing, Daisy. Plus, everyone online is disgusting, my classmates are all strange, and I just can't walk up to a random guy because I think I'm weird.”
“You're not weird,” Daisy rolled her eyes. “You're like the most awesome person I've known here. Seriously. You need to think that you only think you're strange, as you grew up in your ballet bubble. But trust me, being normal is overrated. At least you're good at something and have a personality. Most people really struggle with that.”
I didn't correct her that I’ve struggled to find who I am ever since my injury, and that I’ve realized I really didn't stand a chance of going back to dance professionally. I still haven't faced it and picked a major. Hell, I even skipped on mostof my classes and hid out in the Pilates studio. Guilt squeezed my core thinking about all the money my parents were wasting to give me an education. But at least thanks to my job at the studio, I was managing to maintain myself.
“You just need to find the guy who will appreciate you for who you are. But first, you need to fall in love with yourself. Because you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself,” Daisy went on, oblivious to my small mental breakdown across from her.
Letting out a long sigh, I leaned back. “I'm glad you go to therapy, so I don't have to.”
“You should.”
“I really don't believe in it. My therapy is blasting music and improvising.”
“Talking helps,” she shrugged, and I loved that for her. But if I started opening up Pandora's box of my complexes and issues, we wouldn't be fixing them, but drowning in them.
“I'm not good at that either.”
“Newsflash, you're doing it now,” she laughed, making me lift my eyes to the ceiling and chuckle.
“You're easy to talk to,” I countered. “You should be a therapist.”
“I'm way too fucked up for that,” Daisy sighed, her eyes staring at her half-eaten pizza, and I watched her appetite vanish. “Jeremy invited me on a date.”
“Oh, but Jeremy is nice,” I piped up, welcoming the change of topic. She and Jeremy shared some classes, and she talked about him a lot. I thought she had a small crush on him, but after her shitty ex, I understood she was cautious. “You said you liked him.”
“I don't think I'm ready to date,” she muttered, lowering her voice. “Going to a restaurant or a party on a date terrifies me. I wanted to offer the library instead, but that just sounds lame.”
“Do you have a project together?” I asked, and she nodded. “But then you don't want it to seem like a hangout for a project, no?”
Daisy shook her head. “We do that often. Go to the library and study. We chat, but I don't know, it would be strange to call it a date.”
“Maybe you could do coffee in Rise and Caffeinate,” I suggested. “It's a place you go to anyway, so you could just meet up there. It's public, not school-related, so it can't be classified as a study session. It's better than outdoors if you don't fully trust him, and it's always full of soccer players who would beat up anyone if they hurt you. Plus, if you want, I can sit ten tables away and provide you moral support.”
Her eyes shone bright as she stared at me. “You would do that?”
“Yeah,” I chuckled. “You're my friend, I want to help you. Plus, it would be fun to double date once I find someone worth dating.”
“Ehm... Dex...” Daisy coughed into her hand, trying to be sleek, and I grimaced.
