I didn't offer to walk her to the door, but I waited until she made it inside the building and watched her small frame climb the stairs. Only once I knew she was safe in her dorm building did I turn the car back on and leave.
CHAPTER TWO
ROSALIE
“How was your date?” Daisy shouted as soon as I walked through the dorm doors. She was snuggled in under her pink blanket and mindlessly binge-watched something on Netflix instead of going out with me. Not that I blamed her. After everything that went down with her shitty and emotionally abusive ex, I understood her reluctance to date. And after my disastrous date, I wanted to swear off guys forever, too.
I let out a long groan, a reminder that while Dex managed to calm me and divert my attention, like he always did, the reality of my situation came rushing back to me.
“Yeah, he wanted to get drunk and have sex,” I muttered, dropping onto my carefully made bed and pulling my stuffed reindeer toy into my arms. “He basically called me a stuck-up prude.”
“Wow,” Daisy gaped at me as she paused her show. Her messy blonde hair was up in a bun, and concern shone in her blue eyes. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged, faking indifference as hiswords echoed in my mind. Logically, I knew none of the listed adjectives described me; he didn't even know me. Still... it sucked.
“I thought you liked him,” Daisy went on.
“No. I mean, he was okay-looking and smart. We talked about Biology, and he was a bit nerdy. Yet… he had this need to hook up and make sexual comments in a nerdy way.”
Daisy tilted her head, her messy bun tilting with it. “I just always thought love should be easy... just look at Max and Ivy!”
“My therapist always says that the right person wouldn't make you work for it,” she said with a sad smile. “And come on, Max and my sister had their ups and downs, too. But what really defines a relationship is who is by your side through it all. The constant. Someone who doesn't give up when things get hard, but fights for you.”
I let out a groan and turned to cuddle Yudi, my toy reindeer. It was short for Rudolph, but with a ‘Y’. I named him when I was six and had trouble pronouncing the letter ‘R’. “I just want someone to make me believe in love again.”
“Yeah, don't look at me,” Daisy laughed, moving her laptop to the side and making her way over to me. “That's not me.”
Guilt squeezed my chest as she perched at the end of my bed. “You must think I'm horrible. Going out on all these dates, basically asking for something bad to happen.”
“No, you're just searching for something you can't find. I admire your determination. But Rosie... what you're looking for is inside you. No guy's ever going to fill that void. You need to find a way to deal with it on your own.”
I bit my lower lip and averted my gaze. The phantom pain in my hip intensified whenever I thought about it.
“Let's face it, you'll never love a guy as much as you loved ballet and dancing. And you will never find a relationship that will fulfill you unless you accept that you don't need anyone to make you happy.”
Her words hit me straight to my core, and I felt my eyes tearup. I cried on the phone to Aaron, making him believe something horrible had happened, when I really was just frustrated that I had found yet another guy who just wanted sex from me. That's all anyone ever wanted. The one thing I couldn't give them.
I was searching for love.
Maybe Daisy was right, and the kind of love I craved, the all-consuming, epic love, was impossible to find. Not until I had healed all the broken parts of me.
But that was the problem, I didn't want to heal. I wanted to get lost in something or someone else and forget about it.
“Why don't you ask Dex to introduce you to some guys?” Daisy offered.
“From the soccer team?” I gaped at her, tears forgotten. “My brother would murder him, then me, and then the guy who dared to date me.”
My roommate chuckled. “Fair point. I always forget how overprotective he is.”
I rolled my eyes. That he was. My brother was my number one fan, and after my accident that ended my career, he became even more protective. He thought I was a damsel in distress, the girl who grew up in a glass cage of ballet and needed to be protected from the world outside the bubble I had created. The irony was that ballet ended up breaking me, not the real world.
“Then ask your brother! I'm sure he will find a guy worthy of you,” Daisy offered.
“Not a chance. I spent all last semester hanging out with the soccer team. He took me to every single party and dinner whenever a player’s girlfriend was there. He had his chance to introduce me to the love of my life.”
Daisy leaned back against the wall, glancing at the ballerina pictures above my bed and sighed. “I would offer you online off-campus dating, but I don't think you want to be murdered.”
“Or I could try stealing someone's boyfriend,” I offered with a smile, reminding her of what she’d done to her sister in the past. Ander Sanchez used to date Ivy before he dumped her for Daisy. Ivy asked Max to fake-date her to get revenge, but in the end, they fell in love.
