He returned a moment later and held Fletcher’s leg as he cleaned him up with a warm, wet rag. He carefully made sure to wipe up every last bit that had fallen down Fletcher’s leg before putting the rag to the side. Fletcher rolled over to look up at Taylor, who looked back at him with eyes full of love. Taylor brushed the hair out of Fletcher’s face before leaning down and giving him a slow, tender kiss.
“Do you need some water, sweetheart?” he asked Fletcher after pulling away. Still speechless, Fletcher just nodded silently.
Taylor pressed a soft kiss to Fletcher’s forehead before getting up and disappearing from the room. Fletcher leaned up and grabbed the wet rag to clean his own cum off of his stomach. Taylor walked in shortly after with a glass of ice water and handed it to Fletcher.
Fletcher slowly drank from the glass as Taylor sat next to him on the bed and softly ran his fingers up and down Fletcher’s back. “That feels nice,” Fletcher breathed out. He took another sip before handing Taylor the glass and Taylor chugged the rest of it.
“I need to pack,” Fletcher told him.
“Just rest a minute,” Taylor said softly. He leaned over to put the glass on the bedside table before sitting up againstthe headboard. He motioned for Fletcher to join him and he wrapped his arms against Fletcher as he leaned against him. Taylor’s sculpted body was still covered in a layer of sweat, but Fletcher liked the way they were skin-to-skin.
Fletcher angled his head up to look at Taylor and pulled his head down for a deep kiss. Taylor cupped his cheek and brushed the tip of Fletcher’s nose with his own.
“I love you,” Taylor whispered to him softly. Fletcher could feel his heart warm in his chest.
“I love you too,” Fletcher replied. “With everything in me.”
Taylor brushed his lips over Fletcher’s. “We need to shower and change the sheets before we go,” Fletcher said.
Taylor let out a soft chuckle. “I know, honey.”
Fletcher didn’t make any moves to get up. He felt perfect in Taylor’s arms. He didn’t deserve him.
* * *
It was hard for Fletcher to get over some of his self-destructive tendencies. The dinner last night was living proof. Seeing Alejandra flirt with Taylor sent him into a jealous spiral.
He had never known the type of love that Taylor had for him before. It was a foreign feeling to him to be loved that way. The type of love that’s worked for and built up over time. He knew Taylor didn’t fall in love with him overnight. It took time and trust. And Fletcher completely disregarded Taylor’s love last night like a complete fucking idiot.
Growing up, he learned to crave any ounce of attention he could get. From his parents, his teammates, his friends. He told himself that love was conditional and could be lost at thedrop of a hat. His dad out of all people made that very blatantly obvious.
He knew it wasn’t an excuse. Taylor had given him no reason to make him think otherwise. But the moment he felt like the love Taylor had for him was potentially threatened, it sent him into a dark place. He was hurt and jealous, and he started to crave attention. And the easiest way for him to get it was to provoke Taylor. Just like he did with his dad.
Taylor was patient and understanding. He went to the bathroom to calm down. Fletcher was about to follow after him, probably to pick a fight with Taylor. He was just about to stand up when Jesse had told the table that he was going to check on Taylor.
He didn’t know what kind of conversation Taylor and his brother had. Did Jesse tell him that Fletcher was a jealous piece of shit? Did he tell Taylor not to take a chance on him? That it would be easier to end things before things got too complicated.
Fletcher had no idea what to expect when Taylor came back from the bathroom. It seemed like he had put on a mask of indifference the way he just rejoined the conversation. He didn’t initiate any conversations with Alejandra, but he answered any questions she asked him or made comments on the things he said. He conversed with Sánchez the way he normally did. He told stories of when he and Jesse would get in trouble at school for doing stupid things like starting a prank war with Sánchez’s school or conspiring with his teammates to prank their coach. Fletcher listened as Taylor and Jesse occasionally bickered like most siblings do before quickly forgetting about it and acting like best friends the next minute. He clung onto every word that Taylor spoke at dinner. But none of those words were for Fletcher.
He ignored Fletcher for the rest of the night. Fletcher would try and nudge Taylor’s foot with his own, but Taylor would ignore it. He would try and look at Taylor to meet his gaze, but Taylor kept his gaze fixed on everyone except Fletcher.
Taylor threw him a bone when he casually slung an arm across the back of Fletcher’s chair. He didn’t touch him, but it gave Fletcher a tiny semblance of hope that Taylor didn’t hate him for being a jealous asshole.
After dinner Jesse drove them back to the hotel. He sat up front in the passenger seat and Fletcher was alone in the back. He listened as Taylor and Jesse continued to bicker about how Jesse never answered any of his calls. Why he decided to go to Georgetown. Why he ended up running away from their sister’s house. Jesse refused to tell Taylor the full story and instead only told him bits and pieces about getting into arguments and disagreements with their brother-in-law about stupid things.
As they walked through the hobby, Taylor still didn’t talk to Fletcher. He wouldn’t even look at him. Fletcher was going crazy not knowing if Taylor was going to yell at him or blow up the way his dad would. He reached out to hold Taylor’s hand in the elevator and was relieved when Taylor intertwined their fingers together. Taylor held his hand as they walked back to their room, but he still wouldn’t talk or even look at Fletcher.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed Taylor to do something. Say something. To look at him at the very least. He came up from behind and wrapped his arms around Taylor. Taylor kept ignoring him. He kissed him on the back of his shoulder. On his neck. He was willing to try anything for Taylor just to turn and look at him. For him to tell Fletcher that he wasn’t going to leave him for making a mistake.
Finally, Taylor spoke. He asked Fletcher why he said thethings about Maude. Fletcher knew the answer. He said it to upset Taylor the way he had been upset. Taylor didn’t believe him. He lied to Taylor and told him that he was trying to tell a convincing story to conceal their relationship. Taylor didn’t believe him.
Thoughts crept into Fletcher’s mind, telling him that he had lost Taylor. That he had messed up. Taylor had realized that Fletcher carried a lot of baggage that he himself hadn’t even scratched the surface of. For so long, Fletcher had convinced himself that moving to Seattle would erase the nineteen years of beratement he had received from his dad. The thousands of times he had been called worthless or a disappointment.
But last night gave him the sudden realization that those thoughts hadn’t gone away. He was just too blinded by his love for Taylor that overpowered every other thought and feeling he had.
Fletcher told himself that he was going to lose Taylor. He begged Taylor to kiss him. He told Taylor that he loved them. Their love was so fresh and fragile that Fletcher didn’t know if it was set in stone. Maybe Taylor would have second thoughts and realize he didn’t actually love Fletcher. It was too overwhelming for him to comprehend, and he couldn’t breathe until Taylor kissed him and told him everything would be okay.
Taylor asked him again why he said those things, and Fletcher could see in his eyes how hurt Taylor was. He told Sánchez that he had loved Maude. Not even a full twenty-four hours after telling Taylor that he loved him. It was stupid, stupid, stupid.
