“I love you and your clean-freak nature.”
He helped Fletcher remove all the sheets from the mattress, stripping it bare. Fletcher started the first load of laundry while Taylor worked on removing the fabric covers on the couch. “Don’t you think you’ll get rid of this thing when your lease ends?” he asked. “I don’t think I want this thing in my apartment.”
Fletcher gave him a look, pretending to be offended, “you don’t like my couch? It was my first grown-up purchase.”
Taylor started tossing Fletcher each cover so he could make a pile next to his laundry closet. “I think something leather would be better.”
“But leather isn’t that comfortable.”
“Easier to clean,” Taylor told him with a suggestive smirk. “Think about it.” He pointed at his brain.
“You had me at ’easier to clean,’ baby. It’s so sexy when you match my freak,” Fletcher grinned. He walked over to the bare mattress and sat down on the edge.
“When have I evernotmatched your freak?” Taylor rolled his eyes. “If anything,you’rethe one who couldn’t possibly match my freak.”
He walked over and sat down next to Fletcher. “Outside clothes on the bed. What has gotten into you? What a naughty boy,” Taylor teased as he scooped Fletcher up and pulled him into his lap.
“There’s no sheets on it, so it doesn’t technically count,” Fletcher said. He straddled Taylor’s legs and reached down behind Taylor’s head, removing the elastic that kept his hair tied back and letting his hair fall down his neck. Fletcher slipped Taylor’s hair elastic onto his wrist as he ran his hand through Taylor’s hair and leaned in to kiss him.
“So, I’m guessing youdon’twant to take your clothes off?”Taylor asked against Fletcher’s lips. He ran his hands beneath Fletcher’s skin and brushed his calloused hands over Fletcher’s soft skin.
“You can take my shirt off,” Fletcher whispered. “If I can take yours off.”
Taylor snorted. “Maybe we can even hold hands.”
“Outside,” Fletcher told him. “In public. I want to hold hands with you in public.”
Taylor’s heart fluttered. “I do too.”
“Let me take you out on a date. A real one.” Taylor looked at Fletcher, who looked back at him with complete seriousness in his eyes. “What if we didn’t come out. What if we just skip over it and…”
“Just be a normal couple?” Taylor asked, sounding like he didn’t really believe Fletcher was being serious. Fletcher nodded.
He placed his hands on Taylor’s shoulders. “Why does it have to be such a big deal?”
“I would say it’s kind of important. Not like having an ‘I’m gay and I’m proud’ moment, per se. But we still have our careers to think about.” Taylor couldn’t care less about people knowing he was in love with a man, but he was still concerned about the reactions of the other players in the league. He was worried it would make them both targets and the laughing stocks of the league. Taylor wasn’t prepared to risk the respect he had busted his ass to earn.
“I’m sure we aren’t the only gay hockey players in the NHL,” Fletcher said.
“Right,” Taylor agreed. Obviously, there were other gay NHL players. “But they’re closeted just like we are. What makes us anydifferent than them?”
“We’re the best,” Fletcher told him, like it was the most obvious thing ever. “You’re the best,” Fletcher clarified.
Taylor shook his head. “You, Fletcher.” He pointed to Fletcher, poking him on his chest. “Don’t belittle yourself. Don’t ever do that.” Fletcher’s eyes looked off into the distance like he was lost in his thoughts all of a sudden. “Baby?”
“I’m an Armstrong,” Fletcher said, like he was completing a thought in his head. Taylor didn’t exactly follow.
“Trust me, baby, I know,” Taylor chuckled. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m an Armstrong. The next Armstrong. I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to the name, but at the end of the day I’m still an Armstrong.” Fletcher held Taylor’s face in his hands. “Loving you can’t change that. No matter what my family could say or do. My name has power. Influence.”
“So, you’re like…reclaiming it or something?” Taylor swallowed.
Fletcher let out a deep breath and nodded. “Armstrongs make history. I could make history.”
Taylor nodded, trying to process it. Fletcher was right. His name opened doors for him that Taylor otherwise had to pry open with a crowbar. He may be looked down upon by people in the league who are against him being gay. But at the end of the day, Fletcher had influence. He was born having respect. But Taylor wasn’t. Respect can be lost a hell of a lot easier than it’s earned. Fletcher’s name gave him security, but Taylor didn’t have that same privilege.
He and Fletcher both knew Taylor had to work twice as hard as Fletcher did to be where they were today. Not only because Fletcher had royal hockey blood, but because guys who looked like Taylor weren’t treated with the same seriousness as whiteguys. Guys like Taylor, Douglas, and Sánchez did not have the easy path into the NHL that guys like Fletcher or even Bolving did. Men of color were constantly being overlooked and discredited because of the color of their skin.
