“Probably not, but a certain someone was pretty insistent I get some fresh air.”
With the type of timing that could only come from a sitcom, Goober gave a very proud meow from within the greenhouse, poking his large head out of the window.
“I didn’t know Goober had gotten his medical degree,” Ven joked with a smile. Although her grin was genuine, I could see the apprehension in her eyes. Was that because she was angry at me? Did she pity me? Did she think I was weak for becoming a prisoner and needing her to help me? That last one didn’t seem likely, but my ego had taken a huge hit after everything that had happened. I was used to being the rescuer, not the rescuee. What kind of alpha was I if I needed my pack to save me? It was hard to sort through my dark thoughts. I didn’t know when my anxiety had gotten so powerful, but I hated the hold it had on me.
“Hey, not that I’m not having a rip-roaring good time,” Ricky said, “but I want to go on a run with Miranda and Jason to connect with one of America’s cousins. They’re close by. If you two don’t mind holding down the fort, I could actually get a head start now.”
And there it was, the two of us being forced into close proximity with no polite way to disengage. I couldn’t tell if Ricky was doing it on purpose, or if he simply didn’t pick up on the tension between Ven and me.
“Sure, I would love to help. That is, if I have my doctor’s permission.”
I looked at Ven, trying to analyze everything about her expression. She definitely looked conflicted, and I liked to think that was because she was worried about my health, not because she was uncomfortable being alone around me. Really, she hadn’t done much to make me feel so insecure about everything between us, but I supposed it was an aftereffect of being so powerless for over a week.
“Let me go get a chair for you to take breaks in,” she said finally. “And you gotta promise that you’ll stop the moment you start to feel too tired or sore.”
“I promise.”
And I meant it. While I didn’t feel up to all the tasks I used to do—hauling dirt, watering, or digging deep holes for her tomato starts—I would be more than happy to sit in a chair and hand her different plant starts so she wouldn’t have to twist her back constantly. Even if things were a little strained between us, it would be nice to be by her side while she was in her element again. She’d spent many hours sitting in her room with me—reading, talking, or joking—but none of that quite compared to bonding with her when she was in her element.
“I’ll get the chair,” Ricky said with a clap of his hands. “Y’all get yourselves situated. You need more water, Ven?”
“No, there’s still plenty of ice in my canteen.”
That wrinkled feeling rose in me at the thought of Ricky taking care of my mate, which, really, I should’ve been grateful for. He’d helped her and took care of her when I couldn’t. He’d ensured she was safe, even when she was crazy enough to concoct a plan to get me back. I owed him more than ever, and jealousy was not the right way to go about it. Still, it ate at me. My inner wolf was more bombastic than ever, and it definitely wanted to bare its teeth at my beta and remind him of his place.
Ugh. When had my own head become such a complicated landscape?
I didn’t know, but luckily, my love for my best friend allowed me to keep those stupid instincts in check, so when he brought me the chair, I gave him an appreciative pat on his back. It was a simple touch, but it felt far more affirming than it probably should have.
Once he was gone, we quickly got to work. Ven sat on her stool, digging holes for different flower starts, seeds, and tubers. Thankfully, her labeling system was pretty great, so I only had to read the little marker to make sure it was what she’d asked for. The seeds were also labeled, which made the tubers the mostdifficult to identify. Those I had to identify by their shape, since the piles weren’t as organized.
For a while, we didn’t say anything outside of her asking for the next plant. Every moment that passed felt like an opportunity to say something, but whenever I opened my mouth, the words died on my tongue.
I’d never been a verbose person, but I’d also never been so tongue-tied. I ended up more in my head than ever, enough so that I nearly jumped out of my skin when Ven cleared her throat and stood up.
“That’s all I had planned for this area today. Thanks for the help.”
Damn it. Had I missed my opportunity? “Is there anything else you wanted to do today?” I asked, my tone bordering on desperate. I wasn’t ready to go back inside. Ready to be an invalid who was too scared to talk to the woman I was in love with.
“You sure you don’t need a break? This is the most you’ve been up and about since you got back.”
“I know, I’m just not ready to go back inside.”
“That’s fair. You have spent a whole lot of time cooped up inside.” Ven let out a sigh that had so much weight to it. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate your help, but I don’t think I have the brain power for any more tasks today. I’m a little fried.”
That was understandable, and I felt a little sliver of relief that Ven still trusted me enough to tell me as much. “Maybe we could just sit outside and chat for a bit? Soak up the sun?”
When was the last time that we had just hung out in her garden? It hadn’t been all that long ago, and yet it felt like an entire lifetime.
“Sure,” Ven said after a beat. “We can do that. I’ll go get another lawn chair. Do you want me to get you a drink while I’m at it?”
My first instinct was to say no, that I could get it myself, but the practical part of my brain told me that going to the kitchen and completing that small task would use up too much of my energy. There was something magical about Ven’s garden—there always had been—and it was hard not to feel like the green space and its cultivator couldn’t fix everything that was wrong with my head.
“I would like that, yeah. Perhaps some of that ginger tea if you have more?”
“I do,” she said with a smile. “Coming right up.”
With that, she hurried off. Although I longed for her company, I certainly didn’t mind the view. Thankfully, she returned before I could lose all my gumption and scuttle away to my safe but boring haven of the bedroom.
