He pulls my hands down, searching my eyes. “Just think about it, okay? It’ll be up to you whether or not there’s a next time. It’ll be your call.”
I stare at him, lost for words.
He slides off the stool and cages me in with his hands on the counter on either side of me. My breath catches as he leans in and places his mouth next to my ear.
“Tonight was for talking. But next time, I want to touch you. I want to taste you. And…” He rubs his nose along my ear. “I want to fuck you.”
A jolt of energy tears through me as heat erupts from my core and up through my chest, neck, and cheeks. I wonder briefly if flames might actually come shooting out the top of my head.
I gasp and turn my head away, grabbing his arm with one hand while the other lands across my chest. “Jesus, Julian, you can’t just say things like that!”
He smirks at me. Gorgeously, I might add. His eyes drop down to my hand on his arm then flick back to mine. “I’m just being honest.”
I pull my hand away, leaning back again on my stool and fanning myself like Scarlett O’Hara.
Changing the subject, he asks, “Gage leaves for school on the eighth, right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Okay, well, I leave on the thirteenth. So if you want to get together, between those dates is probably a good time.” He licks his lips as he stares at me. “Give me a signal sometime when I’m over here if you want me to come back.”
I watch him for a moment, considering. What’s the harm in just thinking about it, right? I don’t need to shut him down completely. Even if this idea sounds crazy.
Finally, I sigh. “Okay, I’ll think about it,” I say, against my better judgment.
His smile is dazzling. “That’s all I ask.”
He sweeps me right off my stool into an abrupt hug, and it takes my breath away, from both the tightness of his embrace and the shock of his sudden nearness. He’s big, strong, and warm, and he smells… amazing. Like some kind of spicy cologne and the vaguely salty scent of the ocean.
I sigh into him, closing my eyes. It’s been… years? Years. Since I’ve been held like this. It feels so good. Like finding air after you’ve been suffocating for so long that you’ve forgotten you even needed it. I thread my arms around his waist, squeezing him back tightly. My heart twinges as I realize I never want the embrace to end.
To my horror, tears well up in my eyes. I stiffen, pulling away and blinking furiously. He gazes down at my face and brushes a thumb across my cheek. After planting a kiss on my forehead, he steps away and walks backward toward the door without taking his eyes off me.
“Think about it, Chelsea.” With a small smile, he opens the door and heads out into the night.
And I am left. To think about it.
Chapter
Four
It’s been three days,and I’ll admit, all I’ve done is think about it. About him. I’ve gone over every aspect I can think of at least a dozen times.
Physically, it’s a no-brainer. Just ask my body what happens when he’s around.
Logistically, it works pretty well too.
Morally, it’s gray, I guess. People would certainly disapprove and judge us, but if it’s truly kept just between us, then we avoid that as well as the risk of hurting others, like our family members. His parents have pretty traditional values, to put it mildly, and neither of us would benefit from them finding out.
Gage is one of his best friends, and I’m pretty sure he’d be shocked. Maybe even horrified. He wouldn’t understand and would probably be upset and angry, and maybe it’s selfish, but I’m still open to this idea. Julian cares about Gage, and it feels like he cares about me. I trust him to be discreet.
But I suppose there are also questions about a power imbalance, like am I taking advantage of him or pressuring him? It sure doesn’t feel like it. He initiated this and has been persistent—I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself on him or viceversa. It feels very consensual so far. I guess I’m willing to embrace the gray.
Now. Emotionally? That’s the tricky part.
I can openly acknowledge that I am hot for Julian. I want him. Bad. The thought of him, the thought of how he propositioned me, makes me feel all sorts of fun, melty feelings in my lady parts. But does that mean I want to have my way with him and don’t care how either of us will feel afterward?
No. I’m notthatselfish.
