His cheeks turn pink. “Um. Dating? I mean, ithasbeen two years since you and Dad split up.”
Oh. Wow. Does Gage want that for me?
The surprise must show on my face because he goes on quickly.
“I bet there are plenty of available guys in your demographic. Kyle’s parents got divorced like a year ago, and his dad is super nice.”
Oh. Right. My demographic.
My stomach squeezes uncomfortably. “Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, I’m open to dating. Thanks for the tip about…” I raise a questioning brow at him.
“Dave,” he says with a heart-melting smile. He wants me to be happy.
I nod. “Dave. Right. Thanks, bud.”
“Cool.” He lets out a breath. He seems to have reached his maximum tolerance for discussion of my love life. “I’ll go get the playlist ready for tonight.”
I chuckle as he ducks back into the kitchen with a two-finger salute.
Two hours later, most folks have arrived, and the party’s in full swing. I sit at a picnic table by myself, sipping ice water and surveying the crowd of a few dozen people. Night has fallen, and the only light comes from the various tiki torches and the twinkle lights strung over the pool. The thump of muffled pop music issues from a large Bluetooth speaker near the fence. It seems like all of Gage’s friends are here, along with many of their girlfriends and parents.
I spot Julian on the other side of the pool, chatting it up with friends. He came alone, and a big part of me is so relieved not to have to figure out how to act around his parents. He catches my eye, and then after a few minutes, I notice he’s casually making his way around the pool to join me.
He slides in beside me, staying quiet at first and just keeping me company. He rests his fingers lightly on my thigh under the table. “You doing okay?”
I try to speak but find I’m suddenly too choked up. I just shake my head, staring down at the table through watery eyes. Mortified. I can’t let all these people see me like this. I don’t even want Julian to see me like this.
He leans in close. “Meet me in your room,” he says quietly then swiftly gets up and walks into the house.
I wait a moment and then do as he said. As soon as I walk into my bedroom, the door shuts behind me and he’s there, wrapping me up in another embrace. I let myself melt into him, squeezing him hard and letting my tears fall. I’m not sure I have it in me to stop them at this point.
Julian holds me tight, his chin resting on the top of my head. He says nothing and just lets me cry.
Finally pulling myself together enough to speak, I manage to say, “It’s so much. It’s all just so much.”
He nods, his face solemn. “It’s a lot. I didn’t really consider everything when I asked you to…” His eyes are troubled, and he shakes his head. “It isn’t fair to you.”
I realize what he’s saying, that he’s suggesting we cancel our “date.” Anxious or not, I have settled into our plans and realize they’ve become my lifeline. I can’t bear the thought of losing it.
“No!” I say suddenly, surprising us both. “Don’t you cancel on me. It’s a hard time right now, but you make it better, not worse.” I look up into his eyes.
Crap, crap, crap.That sounded a lot like having feelings. Feelings that weren’t supposed to be a part of this.
Julian just stares at me with that intensity of his. An intensity that I can admit is probably not filled with a bunch of non-feelings. He holds me by the upper arms, and the moment stretches out, electricity crackling in the space between us. Hiseyes drop to my mouth, and I can see his chest moving up and down with his breaths.
“Julian—”
Before I can say anything more, his mouth is on mine. He crashes into me with such urgency, such need, and my body sings in response. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like this, so on fire, so out of control, and so ready to lose myself and damn the consequences. Our tongues dance across each other, needing to touch, to feel every inch. He drinks deeply from me, and I’m all too happy to let him.
We move apart briefly, both panting, and he shifts to kiss below my ear, down my neck to my collarbone. I let out a soft whimper, and I can tell he likes that when he turns us so that my back is to the door and he’s pinning me up against it. The firm resistance of the broad, solid oak door behind me and his hard body in front of me creates such delicious tension that I squirm, pulling on him, needing him closer still. Long-dormant parts of me are waking up, coming alive, and shouting for more.
He returns to my mouth, no less ferocious. His hands are exploring me, pressing and kneading into my shoulders, my hips, my breasts. It’s like he can’t get enough, can’t get it all fast enough, and my head is spinning.
Then I remember where we are and what we’re doing—and the people who are only paces away in the backyard. I put my hands on his chest, pushing him back a step. He breaks the kiss, nipping my bottom lip between his teeth as he does. My lips are swollen and throbbing. His breaths are ragged, and his eyes are wild with desire as they stare into mine. We stay locked like that for a few moments.
Finally, I shut my eyes to escape him for a second. “Wow,” I say on a breath. “I’m, uh… having trouble… forming words right now.”
He presses his forehead against mine, closing his own eyes. “Me too.”
