“When are you going to ask her to marry you?” Chayton says with a teasing grin.
“Marry me?” I say with a laugh.
“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. I’ve known you as long as anyone, and I’ve never seen you like this. You got fucking hearts and stars in your eyes when you look at her. Don’t even recognize you. And you’re all outside with her—PDA, comments in the press, photo ops.”
“The press is just part of the game,” I say with a shrug, reluctant to tell him everything that’s been going on in my brain that I haven’t been allowingoutside.
“Nah,” Chayton says, waving me off. “You’ve thought about it.”
“In like ten years. If I was with her ten years from now, yeah. One hundred percent. I’d already have a ring.”
“Ten years? That’s your timeline?”
“What’s yours?”
“Tomorrow,” Chayton says with a chuckle. “Summer—the girl I’ve been seeing since the start of the season—she’s the one. I’m locking that shit down.”
“What if you get traded?”
“She’ll come with.”
“Yeah, well,” I say. “Sawyer won’t. Bellerive or bust. She won’t even admit that we could date beyond this season.”
“She’s still got you on the clock?”
“Yep,” I say, and I take a drink of my water while Chayton sips his beer. “She’s had a boundary pusher in the past, so I don’t want to be that guy.” Even though Ireallywant to be that guy. “And Idosee ten years as being a logical timeline for me. Marriage, kids, a family—that requires attention. My focus is onhockey. Scoring title. The cup, at least once. A divided Logan isn’t good for a family, and I’m sure it’s not good for a team, for those marks I want to hit.”
“It’d be fun if we were raising our kids together,” Chayton says. “Something to consider. Grow our extended family.” He gives me another teasing grin.
“Speaking of extended family,” I say, shifting in my seat. “I haven’t said anything, but all this press with Sawyer brought some family out of the woodwork.”
“Finally!” Chayton claps his hands. “You happy?”
I’m filling Chayton in on the letter-writing request that hasn’t brought forth a result yet when Sawyer returns to the table.
“You haven’t really said how you’re feeling about it,” Chayton says, sitting back in his chair as the waiter delivers our food.
“Conflicted,” I admit. “They share my DNA, but I don’t know them. They don’t know me. Blood doesn’t make family.” Then I glance at Sawyer, who’s run her hand across my shoulders. “But being around Sawyer’s family has made me realize that I might like the messy a bit more than I thought I would. It would be nice to belong.”
“Man, you’ve always belonged with me and Dad. From the time we ended up on the same line, we were soul brothers, even if we weren’t blood brothers.”
“First time I ever felt part of something,” I agree, but instead of looking at Chayton, I make eye contact with Sawyer beside me. Maybe Chayton and his dad were the first people who made me feel like Icouldbelong, but being with Sawyer is the first time where all those questions about belonging don’t even exist. With her, it justis. I don’t wonder; I know. I belong to her, and she belongs to me.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe, even if it ruins the belonging I’ve found with her in the process. If I have to sacrifice my happiness to secure hers, that’s what I’ll do.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sawyer
Watching him play has become one of the great joys in my life. He’s so fast, so skilled, so confident that it’s hard to tear my gaze away from him the minute his skate hits the slick surface. Luckily, working with him has meant that I don’t have to focus on anyone but him.
As the clock on the third period ticks down, it’s hard to reconcile that this might be the last game I watch him play in person. I checked the standings a few minutes ago, and all the dominoes that needed to knock each other to put the Bullets in the playoffs haven’t happened. The opposite, actually.
There’s a last-minute rush as Logan, Radek, and Auston fly down the ice together headed for the opposition’s goal. Their line is actually spectacular. If the whole team didn’t fall apart the minute their line sat on the bench, this team mightbesomething. And as the season has worn on, Logan’s become more frustrated that he can’t be on the ice all the time, that manyof his teammates haven’t stepped up, that the coaching staff hasn’t been able to get the team to level up.
Radek passes to Auston, who chips the puck over another player’s stick to hit Logan’s at exactly the right moment for Logan to flick it into the top corner before he runs into the net. Their signature goal, one they’ve made together so many times this season, but it’ll still make the highlight reel tonight because it’sthatimpressive to execute.
The crowd goes wild—noisemakers, screams of joy—even though we’re still one goal down with only seconds left in the game. Perhaps that’s the nice part about representing a country with very few who followed hockey before this year. Having a star player, one who scores as often as Logan and with so much flourish, is enough. The spectacle is more impressive than the standings. If only Logan and I lived in that world too.
