The great thing about hockey—unlike basketball and football—is the mandatory three-day break around Christmas. Before my biological family found me, before Sawyer, even with Chayton and his dad, the holiday season felt like something I needed to get through. Despite all the songs and all the commercialization that told me otherwise, Christmas, for me, had never been joyous.
Now since Sawyer and I got married? Our house in Bellerive is the holiday hub. My Uncle Brandon, his wife, Samantha, and their three kids have flown to Bellerive as soon as school lets out for the last two years. Mary and Ernie have been on the sameflight, and then Chayton, his wife, Summer, their daughter, and Chayton’s dad traditionally arrive on December twenty-third, if Chayton doesn’t have a game. Their visit is always the shortest because Chayton is contracted to be back on the ice, usually, by December twenty-seventh.
With the addition of our first baby, a son, and almost all of Sawyer’s family coming to dinner tonight for Christmas Eve, I can’t help the stupid grin that feels permanently affixed to my face while I cut up some food for Zachary, who’s perched in the high chair, watching me with interest. At ten months old, I’m constantly amazed by the big and small ways he changes every day.
“It’s pretty great, isn’t it?” Brandon asks as he wanders into the kitchen, the first one up other than me and my son.
It’s wild how much I like thinking those words:my son. The idea that I wanted to wait longer to experience this endless well of love baffles me now.
“I guess every parent feels like this,” I admit. “But when it first hits you, it’s kind of unreal that you can love someone this much and the world can still, somehow, function.”
“I remember wanting to Bubble Wrap every inch of my kids before I sent them out into the world.”
“So that instinct calms down the older they get?” I ask, genuinely curious. Brandon has become more of an older and wiser brother or cousin than an uncle, but I’ve come to value his opinion.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Brandon says with a laugh. “Just becomes a bit different.”
Ernie and Mary wander into the kitchen next, and Ernie immediately goes to the blender to make a protein smoothie. Turns out, he tried to make me one on that first visit because they’rehisfavorite drink.
“Can you wave good morning to Grandma and Grandpa?” I ask Zachary, modeling the wave.
He grins and waves at Ernie and Mary, which is another thing I’m grateful for. Having Zachary has made it even easier to incorporate Ernie and Mary into our lives. They love having another grandchild to spoil, and while I’m also technically their grandchild, I think we’ve all had a tricky time navigating those lost years, the bond that’s there and yet not quite there all at the same time. But I’m really happy that my kids are going to reap the benefits of these family connections. Between Sawyer’s family and mine, they’ll never be alone in the world if they don’t want to be.
“Sawyer’s still sleeping?” Mary asks, no hint of judgment in her tone.
“Yeah,” I say, dropping the tiny pieces of egg and cooked veggies I’ve cut up onto Zachary’s high chair tray. “She’s sleeping in, and I’m just about to make her breakfast, and then I’ll take it up to her. Anyone else hungry?”
Brandon offers to help me cook, and Mary and Ernie slide into the seats at the island. It doesn’t take long before the smell of bacon has Brandon’s three kids in the kitchen, followed shortly by Chayton’s dad who’s got his six-month-old granddaughter in his arms. The man’s never met a baby he didn’t love, and whenever he comes to visit Sawyer and me, it’s like having a nanny in the house. Spoils us rotten with his time and attention.
The chatter and raised voices that echo throughout the kitchen as everyone catches up on what’s been happening in everyone’s life fills my soul. When Zachary finishes eating, Mary jumps up to clean him and take him out of the high chair to sit on his play mat with some toys. When he starts to crawl around, it’s Ernie who follows him from place to place.
Brandon and I are just plating breakfast and passing portions to everyone when Chayton, his wife, Summer, and Brandon’swife, Samantha appear, already deep in conversation about something.
Once everyone is seated around the kitchen and living room, I sip from my coffee mug and take in the scene. We’re one of those Christmas-card scenes that I used to skim over in the stores, sure this picture didn’t truly exist for anyone.
“Who knew, right?” Chayton says from his seat at the island.
“Who knew what?” I ask.
“That it could all feel this good,” he says, glancing over his shoulder where his dad, Summer, Ernie, Mary, Brandon, Samantha, their three kids and our two babies are spread across the more formal dining room and into the living area. The joy of a giant house is how everyone can seem close and far away at the same time.
“I feel pretty lucky,” I admit. “Now, I’m going to go sneak a few minutes with my wife.”
“You’re going to make me look bad, man,” Chayton says, with a little laugh. “Breakfast in bed?”
“Gotta spoil her while I can,” I say. “Prove myself to be the best husband around.”
I haul out a serving tray from the cabinet—the one I use whenever I take her breakfast in bed—and grab her plate and mine along with two coffees, and then I call out to the room, “I’ll be back.”
As I balance everything on the way up the stairs, I can hear the voices of my extended family in the background.
I set down the tray to open our bedroom door, and Sawyer is still sleeping. She works long hours with Zachary at her office to keep her clients happy and to give her space to travel with me from time to time. So whenever I get a chance to spoil her, I seize it with both hands.
“Rise and shine, doc,” I say as I walk over to the bed with the tray.
She stirs with a sleepy smile, and then she checks the clock and sits up with a start. “Oh my god. You let me sleep in? Everyone is going to think I’m so rude.”
“Aren’t you the one who told me that family doesn’t think that way?” I say setting the large tray across her lap and crawling into bed beside her. “They’re all busy catching up down there, watching the kids, enjoying each other’s company. And now I get a few minutes alone with my wife.” I take my plate and lean back to rest it on my stomach while I lift a piece of bacon to take a bite.
