Chapter Forty
Sawyer
Since my memory is faulty, we rely a lot on the paperwork Stephen put together in the database. It’s harrowing to realize that most of that night is a corrupted blur of memory, intentions, and injury. Waking up to Dalton feeding me lies must have planted more faulty ideas than I thought at first. And I clearly should have gone to the hospital, since I have no recollection of the bruise on my cheek or the cut lip. He didn’t shove me. He hit me. The hit likely knocked me into the table, and I don’t remember it at all.
Logan sits beside me, holding my hand while we complete all the paperwork.
When we leave the station, he puts me in the car with his driver, and he takes my keys.
“You don’t drive,” I whisper.
“I have a license,” he says. “I just don’t use it because these streets are confusing. So many narrow one-way roads. But I’m sure I can follow just fine.”
He has a conversation with his driver that I don’t listen to, and then we’re gliding down Bellerive’s roads toward my house. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, and the other rests on my thigh, a silent comfort.
At the house, Logan draws me a bath, and he sits on the edge of the tub while I slip under the warm surface, feeling chilled to the bone.
“Foot rub?” he offers, and I raise one foot that he takes in his big hands, gently kneading the sole.
“She wouldn’t have given you information for free,” I say, doubling back to his deal with my mother.
“You are correct,” he admits.
“What’d you agree to?” I meet his gaze, but I feel so emotionally wrung out that it’s hard to stir up more anger.
“That I’d tell you she was the one who saved the day.”
“She went easy on you.”
“Did she?” Logan asks, maintaining eye contact as his thumbs find all the best pressure points on my foot. “She knew you’d be mad. So did I. So, it feels like maybe you’re the one going easy on me.”
“You can’t do it again,” I say.
“I’d love to tell you I won’t, but I can’t.”
“Logan…”
“If you were in danger and your mother was the only one who could save you, there isn’t a deal Iwouldn’tmake. If she was the literal devil, I’d let her have my soul, doc. The only thing I can promise is that I’ll never do it again if there’sanyother way to keep you safe.”
I run my fingers through the bathwater, and I know I should be mad. He broke my trust. But he’s been such a rock since Iarrived at the police station—stable and sure and kind, that it’s hard to push him away. I don’twantto push him away.
“Listen, I, uh…” He sets my foot gently back into the tub and then lifts the other one into his large palm. “I have to leave soon to catch a flight. I called your brother, Nathaniel, and he’s going to come stay with you.”
“The trade?” I ask, a hint of panic gripping my lungs.
“No. Not yet.” He shakes his head, and he keeps his focus on my foot. “I’m going to see my biological grandparents. Quick trip. See what they’re like. I’ll be back on the island tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” I say, and the numbness that’s been eating away my sanity seems to spread. He’s already cutting me out, and maybe it’s what I said I wanted, but it doesn’t feel like what I want at all. “Okay.”
He takes a breath as though he’s going to say more, but then his shoulders relax, clearly deciding not to say whatever he was thinking. While I might normally pry, I don’t have the energy today.
“I also have one of your cousin Owen’s guys watching the house for the night.”
“What?”
“They’re arresting him today, but he’ll get out on bail,” Logan says. “Nathaniel is staying here, but I don’t want you in danger. The timing…” He lets out a sigh. “I should just reschedule.”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. Life has to go on, doesn’t it? “I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.”
