"We're both scared. Both use different armor to protect ourselves. But in that cabin, we were brave. We let the armor down. And it was the realest thing I've ever felt."
"And then you rebuilt your walls before we even got back."
"I know because I was terrified. Feeling this scared me more than the storm did." I'm crying now and don't even care. "But I'm more scared of going back to who I was. Of never feeling that alive again. Of losing you without even trying."
"You can't lose what you never had."
"That's bullshit, and you know it. We had something. We have something. And you're pushing me away because you're as scared as I am."
He looks at me with raw pain in his eyes. "Of course I'm scared. Do you know what you did to me in that cabin? You made me care. Made me want things I swore I'd never want again. Made me imagine a future I have no right to imagine."
"What future?"
"One where you stay. Where we figure this out. "Maybe you open a practice here, and I do wilderness therapy programs, and we build something real together." He laughs bitterly. "See? Insane. We've known each other for a week."
My heart is racing. "It's not insane."
"Yes, it is. You have a life. A career. A plan. I'm just the guy who called you Ice Queen and made you feel something for a few days."
"You're the guy I'm falling in love with."
The words hang in the cold air between us.
Brennan stares at me. "Don't say that."
"Why not? It's true."
"You don't love me. You love the idea of spontaneity. Of breaking your own rules. I'm just the catalyst. I’m the one who gave you permission."
"You're wrong."
"Am I? Because in a week you'll be back in your city office and I'll be here leading snowmobile tours and we'll both realize this was temporary."
I step right up to him, forcing him to look at me. "I don't want to be temporary. I want to be real. I want messy and scary and completely unplanned. I want you."
"For how long? Until the ‘retreat high’ wears off?"
"For as long as you'll have me."
He looks tortured. "Avery, I can't—"
"Can't what? Can't risk caring? Believe someone might want you for more than a week? Imagine that maybe I'm brave enough to change my entire life for something real?"
"That's exactly what I can't believe!" His voice cracks. "Because people don't do that. They don't upend their lives for a burned-out snowmobile guide who can't even—"
I kiss him.
Hard, desperate, pouring everything I feel into it—all my fear and hope and love and need.
For a moment he's rigid with surprise. Then he's kissing me back, hands fisting in my coat, pulling me closer like he's afraid I'll disappear.
When we break apart, we're both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together.
"I love you," I whisper. "I know it's fast. I know it's terrifying. But I love you, Brennan. And I'm choosing you. Over my plan. Over my fear. Over everything."
"You don't know what you're saying."
"I'm a lawyer. Choosing my words carefully is kind of my thing. I. Love. You."
