The question I've been dreading.
"I don't know," I admit. "What do you want to happen?"
"I don't know either. This wasn't in my plan."
Something tightens in my chest. Her plan. Right. The color-coded itinerary. The controlled life waiting back in the city.
"Right," I say carefully. "Your plan."
She hears the shift in my tone, pulls back to look at me. "I didn't mean it like that."
"How did you mean it?"
"Just that... this is unexpected. Unplanned. And I don't know how to—" She stops, frustrated. "I don't know how to reconcile what I feel with what I thought my life was supposed to look like."
I sit up, needing distance. "You don't have to reconcile anything. We had an incredible night. The storm has passed. We'll go back to the resort, and you'll go back to your controlled life. No harm, no foul."
"Brennan—"
"It's fine, Avery. I knew what this was."
"What was it?"
"Temporary. Cabin fever. Two scared people finding comfort."
She flinches. "Is that really what you think?"
No. But it's safer than admitting the truth—that I'm falling for her, that in thirty-six hours something fundamental changed in me, that the thought of her leaving makes my chest tight.
"I think," I say carefully, "that we both needed this. And now it's done."
Her eyes fill with tears that she's too proud to shed. "Fine. If that's what you want."
"It's not about what I want. It's about being realistic."
"Right. Realistic." She stands, gathering her clothes with jerky movements. "Silly me, thinking this meant something."
"Avery—"
"Don't. Just... don't."
She dresses, putting armor back in place piece by piece, and I watch the Ice Queen rebuild before my eyes.
By the time she's clothed, the woman I made love to is gone. In her place is the controlled lawyer who first walked into orientation.
We spend a couple of hours in brittle silence until rescue snowmobiles arrive and we return to reality.
We don't speak on the ride back.
And when we arrive at the resort to concerned staff and curious retreat women, Avery thanks me with professional politeness and walks away without looking back.
I watch her go, and I know I've made a terrible mistake.
But it's safer this way.
Isn't it?
Chapter 5
