She looks up, and her smile comes a beat too late.
“Fine,” she says. “Just tired. You know how it is.”
I do know. The not sleeping. The constant worry. The feeling like your life is spinning out of control and all you can do is hold on.
“Julian’s going to be okay,” I tell her. “The doctors said he’s improving every day.”
“I know.” She tucks her phone away and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Come on. Let’s go get pampered.”
We’re too large a group to stay together, so we split up for our first treatments. I end up in a mud bath with Nina, Sarah, and Nell. The room is warm and dim, with soft lighting that makes everything feel dreamlike.
I’m the first one in, and I have to admit, the sensation is nothing like I expected. The mud is heavy and warm, pressing against my skin like a full-body embrace. I sink deeper, feeling weightless despite the thickness surrounding me.
“This is incredible,” I breathe, closing my eyes.
Nina settles in across from me, and I hear her soft hum of agreement. Sarah and Nell are still getting changed, so for now it’s just the two of us.
“So.” Nina’s voice is gentle, curious. “Are you excited about tomorrow?”
I take a long sip of my cucumber water, buying time. Nina knows the truth about this arrangement. She’s one of the few people I can actually talk to.
“Honestly? I have no idea.”
“Cold feet?”
“I have moments of excitement,” I admit. “And then I have moments of... uncertainty.”
“That makes sense.” She shifts in the mud, creating small ripples. “The mafia world has a long history of arranged marriages, you know. Sometimes they work out really well.”
“Do you have examples?”
She hesitates, and I watch her scramble. “Well, not specifically. I haven’t been part of the Andretti family that long. But I’m sure there are plenty of people who ended up genuinely happy with their arrangements.”
The silence stretches. Nina takes a sip of her water, looking like she wishes she could sink deeper into the mud and disappear.
“I’ve really put my foot in my mouth.” She laughs awkwardly. “Forget the arranged marriage thing. That’s not even what this is. This marriage solves your problem with your ex. That’s what matters.”
“Maybe.” I stare at the surface of the mud, thick and dark and oddly comforting. “But that’s assuming Viktor actually shows up. That he takes the bait. The man is unhinged, but there’s no guarantee he’ll try to stop the wedding.”
Nina’s expression softens. “Alessio doesn’t think that’s going to happen. They’ll have men stationed around the church. Everyone’s expecting Viktor to make a move.”
“And maybe he’s right. Maybe Viktor will show up and Matteo will finally get what he wants and this whole thing will be over.”
Nina’s brow furrows.
“Sierra...”
“I don’t know if this wedding is a good idea.” My voice is quiet now, barely above a whisper. “But it’s too late to back out.”
What I don’t tell her is the real reason for my uncertainty. That I’ve fallen in love with a man who proposed a business arrangement, not a relationship. That I’m about to marry him in front of our families, knowing he might never feel about me the way I feel about him. That every time he calls me his fiancée, my stupid heart leaps even though my brain knows better.
I want him to love me back so badly it physically hurts.
“How’s the mud feel?” Nell’s voice cuts through my spiral as she walks into the room wrapped in a fluffy robe, Sarah right behind her. “Please tell me it’s as amazing as it looks.”
I paste on a smile. The conversation is over, anyway. Some things are too raw to share with an audience.
“It’s like being hugged by the earth,” I tell her. “Get in here.”
