“He’s not going to hurt me.” I surprise even myself with how certain I sound.
“How can you be sure?”
Because when Eric was angry, he used his fists. When Alessio gets angry, he gets possessive and protective and fucks me until I can’t remember my own name. Because Eric made me feel small and worthless, while Alessio makes me feel like I could conquer the world.
Because even when Alessio’s being an emotionally unavailable ass, there’s something in his eyes that tells me I matter to him.
“I just am.”
Keshia doesn’t look convinced, but she drops it. For now.
“What about Austin?” she asks instead. “Are you going to tell Alessio he’s the father?”
My stomach drops to my shoes. This is the question that keeps me awake at night, the one I can’t answer no matter how many times I turn it over in my head.
“I don’t know yet.” I crumple my empty cup, buying time. “He’s been... different lately. Protective. Sweet, even, when he thinks I’m not paying attention. But being good at whatever this is between us doesn’t automatically make someone father material. I need to know if he’d even want to be a dad before I blow up his world.”
“Fair point.” Keshia stands and tosses her cup in the trash. “It’s your night off, right?”
“Yep.”
Which means I won’t see Alessio tonight. The thought leaves me feeling oddly empty. I actually have the urge to text him, suggestwe meet up somewhere that isn’t his office or the backseat of his car.
I want to see him. Not just for the sex—though that’s admittedly incredible—but because I miss him when he’s not around. Miss his sarcastic comments and the way he looks at me like I’m the only person in the room.
Oh, God.
My feelings are way more serious than I realized. I knew I liked him, knew I was disappointed every time he reminded me we were keeping things casual. But this? This feels like something deeper. Something that could actually hurt when it inevitably falls apart.
I’m falling for him. Actually, genuinely falling for a man who’s made it crystal clear that casual is all he’s offering.
This is going to end badly.
Keshia and I are walking toward the children’s room when one of the gym employees comes rushing out, eyes scanning the area frantically. When she spots me, relief floods her face.
Then I see the panic underneath it.
My blood turns to ice.
“Ms. Walker!” She hurries toward us, and everything inside me goes cold. “Please, you need to come quickly. It’s your son.”
I’m moving before she finishes the sentence, my heart hammering against my ribs. The children’s room feels like it’s a mile away even though it’s only twenty feet. Time stretches and contracts, and all I can think isnot again, please not again.
Austin is sitting in a chair against the wall, another employee kneeling beside him. The fluorescent lights make his skin look even paler, almost translucent, and his small hands tremble in his lap. When he sees me, his eyes fill with tears.
“Mommy...”
I drop to my knees in front of him, my hands immediately going to his cheeks. His skin is clammy and cold.
“What happened?” I ask the employee, but my eyes never leave Austin’s face.
“The kids were playing Duck, Duck, Goose. Austin was running around the circle, laughing and having fun. Then he just... stumbled. Like his legs gave out. He said he felt dizzy.”
Dizzy. Shortness of breath. Pale skin.
His heart.
“I called 911,” Keshia says from behind me.
