Her eyes flash open, sharpening. No traces of sleep remain—she’s suddenly wide awake, and a hint of trepidation tightens my muscles.
“Say that again.”
I blink slowly. “About fucking you again? I thought it’d be obvious—”
“No. Good girl. Say that again.”
My eyebrows rise. “Has someone discovered a praise kink?” I take her chin in my hand. “You’re mybestgood girl.” I pause, then add on, “When you want to be.”
She stares at me, wide-eyed. “You’ve said that to me before.”
My heart skips a beat, then two. My hold on her chin tightens until she flinches, and I quickly release her, only to sit up and gather her in my arms. “What?”
“You’ve… said that to me before.” She sounds dazed. She touches a hand to her forehead, giving her head a shake. “On a porch. After we just…” she blinks, thinking. “After wekissed.” She gives me an accusing stare.
I gaze at her with open shock, mouth gaping so wide I’ll have to manually wire it shut. She remembers the kiss? Theonlykiss I ever got from her before my home life blew up, and then my parents died and she went missing?
“Ember, what do you remember?” I ask, a sense of urgency gripping me. Is spending time with me prompting her memories to return? Will they keep coming back?Is my woman going to remember our past, once and for all?”
“I…” she shakes her head again, blinking ten times in a row. “There was the taste of strawberry on my lips. I was…” she trails off, squinting. “Seventeen, I think. About to turn eighteen. And I kissed you.” She frowns. “Why did I kiss you?”
Maybe because you’d had a crush on me for years—something she later admitted to me when we were texting. Ember was never the sort of girl to voice her wants and needs, and to an extent, that hasn’t changed. She might be more brash and in-your-face, but she still keeps many things to herself.
“I dunno. A wild guess would be,youliked me?” I arch an eyebrow that silently says,duh.
“But… I don’t remember anything else.” She’s still frowning, a confounded look plastered on her face.
“Maybe last night jogged your memories?" I offer, though I’m not sure why it would’ve. I’ve done far more depraved shit to her without it prompting any memories… except her vaguely remembering our necklace.
“Your kiss was familiar.” She nods. “But I’m not sure if that was it. Maybe it’s my sleep schedule getting better?” her frown deepens into a scowl. “I need to go back to what it was before.”
That feels like a slap to my face. “What?”
“I can’t regress to who I was,” she says emphatically. “I might not know very much about that girl, but I do know that she was weak. I’m not weak anymore.”
“Baby, you wereneverweak. Shy, yes. Quiet, sometimes. But never,everweak. You’ve always been one of the strongest people I know.” I hesitate. “And this version of you? You’ve lost some of your strengths at the price of gaining others.”
She glares at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that beingthisout-of-touch with your emotions is aweakness,not a strength. There’s power in feelings.” Emotions may suck sometimes, they may get too overwhelming andhorrific, but nevertheless, they serve asfuelwhen properly channeled. For a long time, Ember had Alina’s safety as her fuel, but now, that well’s run empty. What’s going to propel her forward in its stead?
“Emotionsare a weakness,” she hisses. “They make you pause when running forward is the only way to survive. They put a damper on logic.”
“Logic doesn’t always win, Flame. Sometimes, listening to your gut is the best thing you can do.”
“I’m not listening to any more of this bullshit.” She flings the blanket off herself and stands, panting like an angry bull. It’s heartbreaking to see my Ember like this—holding fast to thewrongconvictions—but I know she won’t listen to me right now, so I keep my lips sealed.
“Alright,” I say mildly.
“Alright,” she echoes harshly. “And no more sexual activities before you go to bed. They exhaust me.”
I hide a smile. “That’s the point, Flame. Your prior sleep schedule was going to kill you sooner rather than later. I’m not going to stop my efforts to correct it.”
Her nostrils flare. “Yes, you will.”
“No, I won’t.”
“Fine. Do whatever you want. It’s not going to work.”
