And his own disappointment that that was all it had been.
##
On Saturday, Luis woke up in the most comfortable bed he’d ever slept in. The mattress was soft without making his back ache, and thesheets.
He was going to compliment Julien on his choice, and he wouldn’t even be putting it on. They were cool and smooth, a decadent caress every time he moved.
With a groan, Luis rolled over to find his phone and check the time. It was almost one in the afternoon. The blackoutcurtains were doing a hell of a job, because the room was nearly pitch black.
On his phone he had a text from Karim that included the house’s Wi-Fi password and a heads-up that there were breakfast muffins in a cloche in the kitchen for him.
Luis rolled onto his back with a long sigh. What must it be like to live in a beautiful house like this? To sleep in the world’s most comfortable bed night after night, and regularly eat the best meals he’d ever tasted?
Julien and Karim had obviously worked a long time to afford their current lifestyle, but the decadence of it still made Luis envious. He’d already lost so much time just… waiting around in his own life.
Would he ever have a house? A partner? Would he ever make enough space, unpack enough courage in himself, to practice his passion where people could see it and enjoy it?
Groaning, he pushed himself up. Luis wanted something like this someday, a lived in life. He wanted cozy and comfortable. Wanted nights at the bar with his friends followed by silly card games and conversation.
Wanted things he couldn’t have. At least not long term.
Maudlin thoughts pushed in and he shook them off. Ruminating wouldn’t help him, and he’d promised Cassie he wouldn’t spend any more time in bed rotting.
Luis found a light, turned it on, and then went about getting ready for the day. He took a long, hot shower in the beautifully adorned bathroom, and by the time he got out, scented in their fancy soaps, nearly half an hour had gone by.
Dried and dressed, Luis used his phone as a light to go downstairs to the kitchen. In the center of the counter was a cloche with muffins and a note in what had to be Julien’s swirling cursive handwriting. He’d detailed some of what was in the refrigerator and pantry to eat if Luis got hungry.
Luis got a plate and a muffin, and then paused before taking a seat. The kitchen curtains had been pulled, but he knew just beyond them were the gardens. The gardens in sunlight.
Luis was curious. He took his plate and muffin and went to the backdoor.
As Julien has said, the garden was expansive, sprawling from the edge of the pavers back until it ran into a tree line. The area was enclosed with tall stone walls that ran the length of the property, creating natural privacy. Luis stepped out onto the pavers, beneath a pergola of white roses. It was spring, and everything in the backyard was in full bloom.
There were stones that wove the paths through the garden, and Luis ate his muffin as he walked them.
Like the house, there was a lot of love and care present in the garden. As he walked, he noticed that a lot of the flowers were white or pale yellow or blue. Reds, so common in most flower varieties, were noticeably missing. There were also a significant portion of what looked like native and wildflowers spattered about.
It was beautiful.
Luis wondered if Karim and Julien walked the gardens in the moonlight.
When Luis finished the muffin, he took a seat on one of the benches. He could hear the hum of bugs, the sound of birds in the distant trees. He let his mind drift, imagining Julien and Karim out here. Holding hands. Sharing kisses.
The garden, like the house, felt like a testament to their love. The care, the cooperation. Luis had no doubt that Karim had labored out here considering the number of white roses present. It was ridiculously romantic.
His envy swelled. What would it be like to be loved like that? To let your house be filled with naked angel baby paintings because your lover enjoyed them. To grow a literal hoard of hisfavorite flowers just so you could surround him with reminders of your dedication.
Luis sighed, tilting his face up toward the sun. Would he have enough time to find something even half as good? He was already over thirty and his lifespan was, statistically, much shorter than average.
Why had he wasted so much time doing nothing?
##
“Oh hey–damn, is that their house?” Cassie asked the moment she picked up the phone.
It was late afternoon. Luis had eaten the lasagna leftovers, wandered about, and ended up in the library when he’d gotten bored scrolling on his phone. He’d had the thought to call and figured… well it was better than slipping into another melancholy funk.
“Yeah, the library,” Luis said, panning the camera around.
