Every specialist he’d ever seen had been extremely clear on the long-term effects. The best thing he could do for himself was follow a strict treatment plan, mitigate the damage the best he could.
But it was depressing knowing that even if he did his absolute best, following all the instructions to the letter, his disease would still kill him. Eventually his body would collect too much damage, something would go wrong somewhere and he’d be done. After a lifetime of needles and doctors visits and medications and pain, there’d be no relief.
And he was so, so sick of it. Some days he didn’t want to even try anymore.
“Why?” Karim asked softly. There was confusion and frustration on his face. It was a relief to see something that wasn’t pity.
But Luis couldn’t answer that question. The one big rule was that hewasn’t supposed to tell anyone about his condition, let alone a vampire–two vampires. His mother had drilled that into him.
“Um. It’s personal,” Luis said.
“Personal? What the fuck does that mean?” Karim asked, but now he was getting irritated.
Luis’s breaths started coming shorter. His thoughts kept circling the problem. He could call a car, but could he walk to the car? Could he walk from the car to his apartment? He was on the second floor. If at any point between here and his apartment he collapsed, someone was going to call an ambulance, and he’d probably need them to.
Then he’d be in the hospital. They’d call his mother.
They’d call his mother.
But he couldn’t stay here. He needed his kit. He needed, at the very least, his medication and his syringes. His tester.
There was a half-truth he could tell. Maybe. If he trusted them.
Did he trust them?
He looked from Karim to Julien. They’d saved him last night from a fate he couldn’t even think about. In the last year they’d never been anything but kind and respectful. Even Karim, who he sniped with, had never made him feel unsafe.
His mother would kill him if she knew what he was about to do.
But he was just so tired. So sick. Everything was so hardall the timeand he just–he did want to stay in this comfortable bed a while longer and not have to deal with anything. He wanted help, needed it.
Luis took a deep breath. Was he really going to do this?
“I need medical supplies at my house,” Luis said. “I have a condition I have to treat on a schedule. I was supposed to Friday night and–and it’s urgent that I get my supplies and my medication.” He was saying it without being specific, and that was okay, right?
“Oh, you have medication!” Julien leaned forward, eyes wide. “We didn’t know, yes, of course. Should we—?” Julien turned to look at Karim.
“What do you need from your apartment? I can go and get it,” Karim said at once.
Luis blinked at him. It couldn’t really be that easy, could it?
“You need stuff from your house, right?” Karim said at his blank stare. “Instead of you going because you can barely walk, I’ll do it. I’ll bring you whatever you need.”
“You will?” Luis asked incredulously. A lightness bloomed in his chest.
Karim stared at him like he was being purposefully obtuse. “You don’t live that far. I’ll take your keys. Just tell me what to get.”
“A simple solution,” Julien said with a smile. “Then you don’t have to strain yourself trying to travel. We’d both feel a lot better if you stayed.”
There were a lot of problems with that, but Luis was exhausted by the conversation. What he needed was his kit, and everything else he could deal with later.
“Okay. I guess, yeah,” he said.
“If you’re… uncomfortable staying here, I understand,” Julien said gently at his reticence. “Is there someone else we could call for you, I don’t want you to be alone right now.”
A sudden, bitter laugh almost escaped his throat. Someone to call? Cassie was hours away, and calling her would only make her worry needlessly. And his mother?
Abso-fucking-lutely-not.
