##
Despite how much Luis wanted to, he didn’t reach out or go to Julien and Karim’s place the first week back at work. Karim had texted once asking, and Luis had put it off, saying he needed to unpack and run errands.
In truth, he was scared. Without Julien and Karim around, the fears crept in and took hold of him.
Cassie groaned at him on the phone. “Just talk to them about it. It’s new and you’re taking it slow, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them about intent. About the future.”
Luis was lying on his bed, trying to will himself to get up and get dressed to sign into work. With the new work schedule, his and Cassie’s communications had shifted to mornings and evenings.
“I know, I just… what if they change their mind? What if I do? I’ve–I’ve never really done a relationship, let alone one with two other people in it.”
“And what if you isolate yourself in your apartment, never leave, never take any risks?” She asked. “Luis, you know bad shit can happen. Yeah, tomorrow this could all blow up in your face, but at the end of the day–at the end of your life–you will have to live with the path you chose. So, do you want to be a person who tried, who chased what he wanted? Or do you want to bethe person who stayed safe in your apartment, where nothing exciting ever happened?”
And wasn’t that the crux of it. He’d spent a decade wasting away under his mother’s thumb. He didn’t want to be that person, didn’t want to live that life.
“It’s amazing you didn’t go into therapy or creative writing,” Luis said.
Cassie laughed. “I did consider therapy. Wasn’t challenging enough.”
“Of course.”
“Just talk to them, Luis,” Cassie reiterated.
He knew she was right. She was always right. He wanted to be a person who took risks, for better or for worse.
It was just hard, changing your whole life.
“I will,” he said.
“Good,” he could hear the smile in her voice. “I can’t wait to meet them. Summer break can’t get here fast enough.”
“I miss you,” Luis said.
“I miss you too, so much,” Cassie said. “Now talk to your boyfriends so you all can live happily ever after, okay?”
“Okay,” Luis said.
##
By Thursday Luis was beginning to feel… frustrated with more than just his inability to spit out some words. He hadn’t touched himself, hadn’t done anything around the pent-up arousal they’d left him with. Julien had never said not to, but some part of him had felt like he should hold off. Like it was only fair if he was in it with Karim.
So, Luis forced himself out of bed, out of the snatches of a lurid dream, and into the shower. He put the water on tepid, and stepped in under it, shivering.
He wanted to be good, wanted to see this thing through. The pain and discomfort were part of it, and when he thought about Julien wanting this outcome, it strengthened his resolve.
Luis washed himself in cool water, letting his erection flag.
Friday was just a day away.
There was no guarantee Julien would put an end to this game then, but at least he would see them. See them and figure out where this was all going.
And maybe having some answers would help.
Chapter Twenty Nine
“After so many games you think you’d get better at this,” Karim said, musing at his phone.
“Jimson is not a word!” Luis wasn’t yelling, hewasn’t.
