“You had good reason,” Karim said.
“Sure, but you two have still just been… so great.” Luis looked away, toward the vast horizon. “I just feel bad I’ve been sulking in my own shit.”
Karim shrugged. “I’m an asshole most of the time. Doesn’t bother me.”
Luis snorted. “No, you’re not. You’re only an assholesomeof the time.”
Now Karim was grinning at him. “Oh yeah? Only some?”
Karim tugged him in a little more. Luis had to tilt his head to keep eye contact.
“Yeah,” Luis said, and he couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice. His heart was thumping in his chest.
“Listen, I’ll tell you a secret,” Karim’s other arm found Luis’s waist under the water. It settled there tentatively, and Luis did his best not to react. “What you’re going through is hard, but it’s going to get better. You’re purging the poison and that’s…the worst part. But afterward, when all that shit isn’t inside you anymore, you’ll feel better. A lot better. And if you’re an assholesomeof the time during the process, that’s okay too.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Luis asked, lips quirking.
Karim squeezed his waist. “Yeah, because even if you’re an asshole, we’re still your friends. Cassie would say the same. I know Julien looks like a romance novel wilting flower, but he’s not. Neither of us are going to be scared off by some moodiness.”
A wave jostled them, and Luis reached up automatically with his free hand to steady himself on Karim’s broad shoulder.
“Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t be. You can hold on to me if you need to,” Karim said with a softer smile.
Luis swallowed with a dry throat. His eyes drifted over where he was touching Karim’s warm skin. He had strong shoulders.
Then he was following the line of his neck up to his face. To his mouth.
They were so close now. It wouldn’t take anything to close the distance. To kiss him.
Want rose sharp and steep inside Luis. He knew he shouldn’t, but the reasons exactly why felt far away, left behind on shore. Between them was a pocket of warmth, and Karim’s sure, steady gaze on him.
And suddenly Luis was leaning forward and–
Karim leaned away.
Fuck, oh fuck.This–this was a mistake. Shit, Luis wasso stupid–
“Wait, wait,” Karim said, arm tightening on Luis to hold him when he went to pull away. “Just–hold on, don’t go anywhere. Just, are you sure about this?”
Luis stared at him, eyes wide, horrified at himself. “What?”
“I can’t kiss you unless you’re sure.I promised. I–have you thought about this? I can’t do this if it’s a whim or you’re caught in the moment,” Karim looked pained.
“A whim?” Luis’s head was spinning. “You promised who?”
“Jules,” Karim said it like the answer was obvious. “I’m not to touch you until you’resure,” Karim insisted.
There were too many competing questions vying to get out of his mouth first. “You talked about this?”
“Extensively,” Karim said. “Have you with… any of your friends?”
“There’s only Cassie,” Luis said. Karim watched him expectantly. “And, um, yeah. Maybe. Some.”
“Some,”Karim’s thumb was making small movements against his waist. It was making it hard to concentrate. Luis shivered, but not from the cold.
“Some,” Luis repeated.
