“That’s the one. I was glad they used a gift registry, or else I would have had zero idea what to get them. The original statue is just a few inches tall, but the one they registered for is massive, easily a few hundred pounds. We had it delivered to their home last week because no way was I showing up at a wedding with a giant statue strapped to a moving dolly,” I said, and he chuckled.
I swallowed down a bubble of pain as I remembered how Robert and I had giggled at the strangeness of the gift. Funny to think how different my life had been such a short time ago. Had someone told me while we were picking out the statue that I’d be attending the wedding not only as a scorned woman but also with a panties-melting VGO leader, I would have said they had me confused for someone else.
“What did you get them?” I asked.
“A non-stick cookware set. I’m assuming it’s something Tim registered for.”
“Right. Because Jerry doesn’t eat human food.” I prattled on, “Some people think gift registries are tacky, like the couple are demanding presents, but I prefer them. I’d much rather have somebody tell me exactly what they want, that way I won’t have to waste my time walking around stores aimlessly only to end up buying a present they end up returning anyway. If I had it my way, all holidays would have gift registries: birthdays, Christmas . . .”
I fell silent, realizing I was rambling. If I didn’t shut up, poor Joseph’s ears would start to bleed. I tended to talk too much when I was nervous around a man I found attractive, and I hadn’t been this nervous since my first date with Robert.
Not that this is a date, I reminded myself again.Also, stop thinking about Robert.
Without my yapping, the house was uncomfortably silent. I considered putting on music, something I should have done prior to Joseph’s arrival, but I worried he’d think I was trying to seduce him like those cheesy guys in eighties movies did with soft rock albums that featured long saxophone solos.
I tapped my nails on the table. I hoped Joseph wasn’t bored. And then out of left field I hoped Robertwasbored, because if he wasn’t it meant he was doing something enjoyable. With Serena.
“It’s a sporran,” Joseph said, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth. He held up the pouch that was situated at the center of his hips.
I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at his crotch, but I guess I had been, since he’d pointed it out. He didn’t strike me as the sort of guy who’d go around making up stories about women gazing at his manhood.
Well, wasn’t that just great? I was a blabbermouthanda crotch creeper. Such a class act. Maybe next I could take Joseph into the bathroom and show him how I made bubble bath with my farts.
I took a sip of champagne as I considered how to respond. “Sorry I was gaping at your junk” didn’t seem appropriate.
The pouch, which I now knew was called a sporran, was adorned with soft white hair and tassels of the same downy material. I settled on, “What’s it made of? It looks so supple.”
“It’s horsehair.”
I reached out to stroke the hair, then reconsidered. Even though it was an innocent action, I thought Robert might not like me grabbing at another man’s groin.
I nearly flinched at my slip-up. I’d gotten so accustomed to being in a couple that doing right by my boyfriend had become an automatic concern. Probably something I was struggling to come to grips with because I was still living in my ex’s home. Not just living in my ex’s home but also heading out on a quasi-date with a powerful vampire I feared yet also found deeply sexy.
Ironic that I used to roll my eyes at people who said their love life was “complicated.” Now that I had a little romantic experience under my belt, I was starting to appreciate exactly how complicated love was.
I forced my lips into a smile. “It’s lovely, but is it functional?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your sporran. Do you put things in it, or is it only for show?”
Joseph opened the pouch and showed me his wallet, phone, and keys. “Traditional kilts don’t have pockets, so it’s basically a place to put small items. Back in the day, they were used to hold coins and musket balls.” He gave the sporran a shake, his eyes twinkling as he joked, “But don’t worry, I’ve left my musket balls at home tonight.”
Man, I’d thought Joseph was beautiful earlier, but now hishotness was just obscene. His melodic voice, his big, strong hands, his teasing manner . . . I was beginning to worry that I wouldn’t be able to make it through the night without pouncing.
What was happening to me? My brainwaves were all over the place. I was either having filthy ideas about Joseph or worrying that I was betraying Robert.
I smirked. “That’s good to know.”
Once Joseph finished his drink, I put the tumbler in the sink and gave it a quick rinse—blood can be tremendously difficult to get off glass. I asked if he was ready to go. He was.
As Joseph helped me into my jacket, I said, “Thanks for coming to the wedding with me. I would have felt so awkward being there on my own.”
He smiled. “That’s the worst, isn’t it, being at an event where everyone has a date, and you don’t?”
Not that we’re on a date,I thought for the umpteenth time, though I was warming to the idea.
13
