She then stares at me, wiping her mouth with her fingers and the back of her hand, licking her lips. I'm afraid to look at her but I do anyway, knowing that she's going to tell me now that she's going to move out, probably move in with the guy from work or some shit like that but she doesn't do any of that. Instead, she smiles at me.
I feel confused.
Then she says…
…
"Happy birthday."
The stress of everything, the surprise of it, how sweet she was with this whole setup… it's too much for me.
My eyes burn as tears come rushing. My head drops and I sniffle as my tears flow down my face. Knowing I don't deserve hermercy, knowing I don't deserve this, she gently puts her arms around my shoulders and brings me in for a hug.
"Happy birthday, Link," she says again and this time I'm quietly sobbing, holding her tight. No one has ever done something this nice for me before, especially now because I know that this is one of the best gifts she could ever give me.
"Are you going to leave?" I ask.
"No, I'm not leaving," she says.
-??-
Chapter 35
With every week that goes by, it's been bliss. It actually feels really nice seeing Gabrielle at work. It really is nice.
Even with her schedule, she still finds a way to make breakfast for me. Lunch too, if she thinks I might want it. I sit with her during breaks. I used to sit with Sarah, and Sarah has been noticeably irritated by the entire situation.
To the point where she tries to eat with us. I can see her trying to get into Gabby's good graces.
Gabby will talk to her on occasion. But that old arm's length comes out, and then I notice how sometimes Gabby will pull away and choose to eat with Fabian. I don't like the conversation she and I had about dating other people.
I can't fathom dating someone else. Even for the couple of years I didn't see her at all, it still didn't really appeal to me.
Of course, it fleetingly crossed my mind.
What if?
Could I do it?
Would I be a good partner?
Would I mess up again?
And then there were always the thoughts that coupled those lines of thinking, wondering if anyone would ever measure up to Gabrielle. Because so far, nobody has. And I don't think that anybody ever will. That's the horrible part about all of it.
I usually work from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., and with the date creeping closer for these packages to finally go out, the pre-orders piled, the deadlines closing in, work has been brutal.
But I’ve been feeling lighter. I sleep in the bed with Gabrielle at night. It’s been a few weeks now. Well over a month. Almost two. Ever since she gave me that incredible blowjob.
She’s teased me mercilessly since then; wandering around the house in skimpy clothes, Singing in the shower and then getting out butt naked.
She probably figures, why hide? I've done the same with her. Walking around naked. And both of us smiling at each other.
I've tried several times to make a move on her. Trying to kiss her. Trying to feel her up in bed.
And it's been torture for me. I've masturbated quite a bit. Since we’re not on that “deal” anymore, it’s all I can do to keep myself sane. Even sleeping right next to her, I still end up nutting through my boxers onto her ass because I spoon her most nights.
It kills me when I think about how… back when we were married, I pulled away from her. Sleeping with my back to her. Probably out of guilt. Or too preoccupied looking for greener grass.
