Whenever I try to touch him or hug him or hold him, he shrugs me off, so I stop trying. But if he does this the rest of the night, neither of us is getting any sleep.
Finally, grunting and huffing, Lincoln throws off his side of the covers and gets up. Leaving the bedroom, he closes the door a little loud, heading to the living room or wherever he’s going.
He takes a while to come back, and I can’t sleep unless he does. What the hell is he doing out there?
I get up, traipsing through the dark, and when I peer into the living room I see Lincoln in the shadows.
He’s huffing and puffing.
My heart drops, thinking he’s given up and is beating himself off, but as I adjust my eyes and make out the shape, he’s actually doing burpees.
Smiling, I tiptoe back into his bed.
After about fifteen minutes he comes back into the room and closes the door behind him, barely able to catch his breath, and then he takes a quick shower.
It’s super quick, only about five minutes. The poor man probably had to work some of that testosterone out of his system.
Maybe it’s the only way he could deal with it, and the fact that he’s trying so hard to adhere to this silly rule of mine means a lot to me.
It’s the bare minimum he could do, and I thought he had that kind of discipline when we were married.
A little too late, but still amusing at the least.
After his shower, he drops into bed.
I’m lying on my right side, so I see when he plops onto his stomach, his head facing in my direction, his eyes closed.
He’s wearing one of his black undershirts and his gray boxers.
“Did you cheat?” I ask him in a whisper.
With his eyes closed, sounding as though he’s already halfway into the land of sleep, he answers, “No. But I’m still in a bad mood. I’m just… really tired. I don’t have the strength to be as angry as I was.”
His words slur with exhaustion, his eyes never opening, and it’s not surprising that probably right after that last word, he falls instantly asleep.
The workout and the shower always reset him and make him tired, especially after a long day. We used to take showers together, something I miss, but with work and our different schedules and him having to get up so early, couple showers are a thing of the past.
I remain on my right side facing him.
My hand lifts, and I use my finger to brush a tendril of hair from his face as he snores lightly. He looks so peaceful, and I can’t help but smile. My heart feels so full of love, and it’s crazy how I should hate this man… but I don’t.
Watching him sleep, just admiring him, and realizing I care for him despite everything, it’s insane to me, and I can honestlyunderstand why some people end up taking back those who wronged them.
I don’t see myself being that person… but as I place my arm over his back and hold him close…
…all I’m saying is that…
…I can understand.
-??-
Chapter 24
5 days later
Something is smothering my face. I open my mouth, and it fills with something soft. I’m basically drowning. I open my eyes along with my mouth to find that my vision is obscured as well.
What in the everlasting tarnation?
