But it’s his house, and I don’t want any part of the drama. What I do want is to go out there and slap the taste out of Sarah’s mouth.
But that’s probably what she wants too.
So I stay in my room.
There’s a crashing noise and the slamming of a door. But not before I make out Sarah’s harsh voice yelling at Lincoln:
“I hope that fucking bitchstabsyou in your sleep! Maybe then you’ll understand the kind of caliber of person that you’ve aligned yourself with! And don’t come crying to me again when shit goes south like you did before!”
There’s quiet.
Then a knock at my door.
I blink. “Come in,” I say.
Lincoln opens the door slowly. He looks so tired and worn. I’m just lying there on the bed, kind of propped up on a pillow so my upper back is lifted a little. I offer him a tight, sarcastic smile.
“Everything okay?” I ask, dripping sarcasm.
Lincoln sighs, his head drooping slightly as he steps in. He perches on the bed's edge,and then lays back so that his upper back is across my lower legs.
My whole body wakes up.
I want to touch his hair. When he used to lie down on me like this, that’s usually what I would do; pet his hair. We used to take turns doing this for each other.
But I have no idea what we’re supposed to be anymore, and I don’t want to confuse him, no matter how much I want to touch him.
“I’m so sorry about everything,” he says quietly, staring up at the ceiling and then turning his head to look at me, hands clasped over his chest.
I say nothing.
“I put you through so much and… I dunno,” he murmurs. “I know Sarah’s not the nicest person. And I’m so sorry. And I’m not just talking about now, I’m talking about during our marriage. And I should have beenstronger. I was awful to you and I’m so sorry. And honestly, I was kind of butthurt about the whole thing. I’m not sorry that I got to make love to you again,” he says, smiling sadly at me.
I want to agree, but I’m not giving him that.
Lincoln lets out a heavy breath, then pulls in another.
“It felt really amazing and I can’t stop thinking about it and… holy shit, I think I’m getting hard right now.”
Rolling my eyes, feeling myself get worked up too, I start to push him off.
“Okay, well before that gets to that point—”
But Lincoln stops me, smiling.
“I’m joking,” he says quickly, in that sexy voice of his, the one that makes me want to slap him but fuck his face at the same time.
“You’re not joking,” I say, looking at his crotch. “I could see you. Tent-pulling right there in front of me, you fucking liar. That’sbecome your default thing to do, hasn’t it? Just fucking lie?” I half-joke.
Lincoln puts his arms behind his head, still lying against my legs.
“I’m sorry,” he says, looking at me from that position. “I really amsosorry. I know that doesn’t fix anything, I know that doesn’t… erase the past, and I know no matter how many times I say it… it’s not gonna make you love me again, it’s not gonna make you want to be with me again, but… I still feel like Ineedto say it. And I wish there was a better way that… that I could.”
There’s quiet for a while.
“Well, I’ve already said everything I need to say,” I reply.
Before I even realize it, my fingers start moving.
