Then it hits me.
This is just like the time in the shuttle van before Lincoln and I started dating.
Back when we were working together, catching feelings for each other, and where everything was simple.
I look to my left at Lincoln in the driver's seat. He's breathing hard, albeit slower now. Then he looks over to his right at me, the both of us holding our eyes for a minute.
There's so much that I want to ask him about this morning and last night, but nothing comes out.
Tension settles over the car.
Lincoln smacks his lips, looking outside his driver-side window away from me. He's still mad at me.
I'm helping him find his cat. It's not like we can search for him right now, and he doesn't want to go back home.
Fidgeting, Lincoln takes out his phone to open the app and browse the security footage, probably thinking there was motion somewhere and Morris came home.
“Anything?” I ask.
Shaking his head, he exhales. “No. Nothing.”
“We're going to find him okay?”
“You don't know that Gabrielle.”
“I love Morris,” I say with a gentle voice, prompting Link to turn to me.
Smiling, I continue. “I really do. As soon as I saw him, I fell in love with him. I care about him like he's my own cat.”
“You don'tlooklike you're that torn up about it,” he scoffs, looking away from me.
Placing my hand on his right thigh, my heart gentles.
“I'm trying to stay strong for the both of us. I can't afford… for my mind to go there. Because the truth is I refuse to accept that anything happened to him. He's just like any young male cat. He's hit puberty or past it or whatever, and he wants to explore. He got an opportunity.”
“I couldn't have been that good of an owner… if he was willing to just leave and not come back,” Lincoln says sadly, and my heart breaks for him.
My body twists, left thigh folding under me to face him better. “Lincoln you know as well as I do that cats have a mind of their own. I know you had a pet cat growing up.”
“My siblings took care of it mostly.”
“I know but, this has nothing to do with you. I mean think about it. Morris likes me more than he likes you,” I smile.
This time he does look at me and gives me a mischievous smug stare.
“It's true, jerk. Am I lying?”
Shaking his head playfully, he closes his eyes and looks out the windshield. “I appreciate that.”
“Appreciate what?”
“You trying to have a good outlook. You always… you always had a good outlook on everything. You always stayed positive. Even when I drove you crazy,” he replies in a haze, not looking at me.
The air is too quiet. My hand finds my lap once more, fingers fidgeting over each other.
“Lincoln? What the hell happened? This morning?”
“We fucked each other,” he says nonchalantly as if he's not all here.
