Alessio gets the idea, lies between my legs, and thrusts inside me again. He moves slowly, and as he makes love to me, I tuck my nose into the crook of his neck.
“Alessio, I love you. I love you so much that I think it might be madness. And I can’t stop.”
“That is also good to know,” he says.
THIRTY-NINE
UNEXPECTED
Lake
Ever since I saw Alessio’s routine, I can’t stop wondering how in God’s name this man functions the way he does. He’s up and about before dawn, even though we went to bed late. It’s like no matter what, this man will rise early and work out and then work all day long. I wouldn’t survive two days on his schedule.
When I heard him wake up this morning and whisper something Italian in my ear, I opened my eyes and smiled at him, still blissfully happy from last night. I told him he was right and that I needed a proper fucking and a nice cuddle. What I didn’t tell him was that it makes me feel worse about betraying him.
In the bathroom now, I brush my teeth and lift the hem of the T-shirt he dressed me in last night.
Across my belly, in bold all-caps, is a word:
MINE
I drop the T-shirt and rinse my mouth, then step back and look at it again.
MINE
His.I guess it’s only fair that I told him I loved him after he wrote that, even though I didn’t know this is the word he wrote when I professed my great love. I consider showering, but I don’t want to wash it off. If it were permanently tattooed on my belly, I’m not sure I’d protest.
Alessio owns my heart, and I wish I could find a way to make us work, but there isn’t one, not when it will come at the expense of my little brother’s life. The truth of us is devastating. Heart-wrenching.
It’s like a brand-new tear next to the bleeding wound I’ve had since my parents died. That wound still bleeds. Their death tore something inside me that I can’t suture back together. There’s a void I can’t fill.
My parents and I were close. When I was going through hard times, they helped me.
With them gone, nobody tried to get me out of bed and into the shower. I didn’t have a man to wash me when I couldn’t get up for five days, secretly resenting the universe for not letting me just rot under my comforter forever. I had to make sure Prescott ate and bathed and went to school.
I can’t help but think about how Prescott and I would have fared if we had someone like Alessio with us at that time. The man literally makes you want to wake up in the morning and do the best you can with your lot in life, and if you can’t do it on your own, you can be sure Alessio will take care of it for you. I can’t unsee him.
I want to ask him for help with the sadist.
I do. I really do. It would be so easy to surrender yet another burden onto his shoulders and let him take care of it all, to say consequences be dammed.
But I’m in love with this man. Despite all the connections, Alessio is still a man made of flesh and blood, and I fear that if the sadist and his wife, along with the powerful man we met in the vault, could hurt Alessio too. And God forbid if they come for Leo.
The consequences, the risk, and the possible fallout are far too great. They’re watching my every move. They have a gun trained on my little brother, and all it would take is a single pull of a trigger, a single wrong move on my part. I’m terrified they’ll know if I say something, and my family will die because I didn’t meet their demands.
Having already suffered the loss of my parents, I know what the death of a loved one feels like. This is the threat of the death of a loved one, and for me, it’s as real a threat as any. It’s why I must carry on alone.
When I check my phone, I hear from my uncle’s doctor, who says that my uncle moved his arm during my aunt’s visit with Prescott. We consider this a great sign. “Thank God,” I mumble.
I dress in black slacks, a black button-up shirt, and a white silk scarf. I double-check that the plastic piece I peeled off the gun’s grip, along with the screwdriver, are in my pocket. I must deliver this thing today.
It’s almost over. After I deliver the piece and give them whatever information they want, I’ll be free to move on with my life, whatever is left of it. I haven’t thought about what I’ll do if they ask for more. My hope is that I won’t need to run to the US embassy and seek protection. But I grabbed my passport just in case.
In the movies, Americans in trouble always run to the US embassy in a foreign country. And it’s always dramatic, with guns blazing. I hope no guns will blaze. I’m not a very good runner either, so I’d probably just die as roadkill.
I lean my ear against the door to listen in on who’s in the suite.
Behind my back, I cross my fingers that Alessio took Leo out with him. When I hear nothing, I open the door and find the living space empty. Yes!
