The conversation is pleasant. Telling her about Abigail and Caleb should bring a small smile to my lips. It does, but it feels distant, secondary to the awareness humming under my skin.
Having all of her focus pointed in my direction is a warmth against my side, a pull that makes the muscles of my stomach tighten in response. Half of me wishes it would stop, while the other half wants to welcome the intrusion.
“Even if my siblings did hit the ground running as soon as they both turned eighteen, I don’t hold anything against them. Not when they deserve to live whatever lives they want.” Rolling my shoulders to ignore the discomfort forming at the topic, I turn my attention to something less distracting.
I don’t get to talk about my family much. Makes it too obvious how alone I am now that they’ve all left.
“My parents retired and moved down south.” Plucking my gloves off, I pause to get a drink. I can’t help but notice the flush painting her skin, the sheen of sweat making it glow in the dustylight. The barn is hotter than hell, and the fans only push the thick air around. “Come get one, too.”
She gives me that damn salute motion, and a curse lodges itself in my throat. My jaw clenches, an unfortunate reaction to her playful response. It’s an effort to keep my breathing even.
“Sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine.” Offering her the bottle of water she brought, her fingers brush mine as she accepts it. The contact is fleeting, a tingling against my knuckles that doesn’t fade. It travels through my body, settling low in my gut. “All I do is care for things, all day, every day. Don’t usually have to ask them to do things, either. Ordering them around just happens.”
It’s an excuse, of course. There’s no way in hell I can compare how I feel toward her to any of the animals. Thankfully, she doesn’t question me about it.
“I won’t lie, it’s kind of nice.” Her throat bobs with a few swallows, and I watch the movement, mesmerized. “I feel like I’m a pain in your butt. Having you worry about me tells me that’s not the case. No complaints from my end. Keep bossing me around.”
Saying it so playfully, almost teasingly, she has no clue what she’s asking for. Hell, I don’t fully understand the reaction she triggers. There’s the constant tug on my chest, the twitch in my fingers to reach out for her. By now, I’m exhausted from holding myself back, and it feels like we’ve barely started.
What Idoknow is that the next order that wants to roll off my tongue has nothing to do with cleaning this barn. It’s a demanding urge that involves the heat of her mouth, the submission of her knees on the straw-strewn floor, and the absolute silence of her while she takes care of the relentless ache she keeps stoking in me. My damn cock needs relief from being hard all the time.
The thought is so vivid, so wrong, that a fine tremor runs through my hands. I curl them into fists. After today, she’ll knowenough tasks to work on her own. After that, I’ll have some space between us, and my mind can stop spiraling like this.
“Cyrus?” Dragging me out of the treacherous current of my thoughts, she flutters those eyelashes. Her gaze is too perceptive, seeing the tension coiling in my shoulders. “You should really swap that coffee out with water. One of these days, you’re going to pass out from dehydration. No offense, I don’t think I’m strong enough to catch you.”
Grunting, I’ve got nothing to say. Especially when a wave of lightheadedness hits me as I chug a mouthful, but it’s not from thirst. It’s from the proximity, from the scent of hay and her sweat, from the way her lower lip glistens as she finishes sucking down another mouthful.
I keep drinking from my tumbler. Can’t say anything stupid or make any demands when my mouth is preoccupied like this. Even if the coffee is bad for me, it’s better for both of us. Even if she doesn’t fully understand why.
Thankfully, she just rolls her eyes, a gesture that’s both exasperating and endearing, and pulls her gloves back on. As she bends to grab the pitchfork, the worn denim of her jeans strains, and every nerve in my body goes taut. I have to turn away before I lock onto her ass.
I’m just trying to make myself suffer at this point.
“It’s smart selling this stuff, even if that’s disgusting.” Her nose wrinkles adorably as she fills the wheelbarrow with another forkful. “Dad was worried you were drowning with everything, but it seems like you know what you’re doing.”
Her words are as effective as getting doused by a bucket of cold water, but it doesn’t douse the heat she’s built in me—it just makes it steam and crackle with a new, defensive energy. My skin prickles. While I know she doesn’t mean it as an insult, my pride takes a direct hit, and it mixes violently with the attraction. The two feelings braid together, a rope pulling me tight.
Jerry had shared his worries during our phone calls, and I thought I had done a good job of calming him down. Everything is fine here, and the ranch is wonderful. However, it seems like I’m the only one who feels that way.
Fuck. That’s not why she suggested the egg sign, is it? If she’s anything like her old man, that’s exactly why. What if all this talk about choosing her college major is really just a story? What if it’s a way for her to come onto my property and see how I’m doing?
God damn it.
Feeling my mood souring, I grasp the handles of the full wheelbarrow. It’s full, and I need some space away from her before I accidentally say something I shouldn’t.
I’ve already snapped one time too many, and I’m not getting any better.
With this tension coiling in my gut, I know if I don’t snap, I’m going to pounce. At that point, there won’t be any going back.
4
Millie
For someone who came here to figure out her career path, I’m doing a spectacularly terrible job.
It’s been a week now, and I haven’t even asked Cyrus any questions about his usual routines to get his animals checked out. I should be showing some kind of interest here!
I haven’t gone near his horse. I’ve just petted his cows and buried my face in Meatball’s fur a thousand times. The pigs are still a mystery, a looming threat he hasn’t forced me to face.
