“You were rejected?”
“They were very apologetic about it. They wept. They held each other and me and said sorry, sorry, we’re so sorry, oh help us, oh stars, oh hearts, help us! It was very strange.”
“I have never heard of someone being rejected from the Consensus. Even murderers are welcomed, I heard. I heard the Consensus said there was no punishment greater for a killer than to share their mind with those they have wronged.”
“Like I said – everyone was very apologetic.”
“Uh.”
That “uh” – it seemed honest, if nothing else, neither feigning false comfort nor dismissing what I had said. A neutral “uh” of data lacking, of judgement withheld. I wondered then whether I liked Riv Fexri, even though she was, ostensibly, my enemy.
For a moment the two of us stood in silence, and it did not feel awkward. She did not seem to expect much from me, and I was perfectly happy expecting nothing from her, and it was almost comforting, a kind of safety. But old habits die hard, and decades of being the quiet one at parties, the one who was doing it wrong,tickled on the tip of my tongue, so I blurted: “What about you? Why are you here?”
“I am here because my boss is here,” she replied, without hesitation or malice. “He is getting old and making mistakes. He should not be here. I am here to make sure he doesn’t do anything bad. He is an engineer, not a diplomat. It is absolute folly for him to have come.”
“Then why is he here?”
Her fingers swirled the stem of her cup back and forth, settling little storms in the remnants of her drink. “Business,” she replied at last, a delay that meant she was lying, a firmness that implied she was not interested in being questioned on that fact. “Many people meet on the Spindle. More than just diplomats.”
“Do you… like your boss?” I tried.
“No.”
“But you still work for him.”
“If I left my current employment,” she replied primly, “I would lose all my Shine. I would be useless, worthless, and most likely end up indentured to a Venture with poor working conditions and limited prospects for my old age. This is unacceptable. In my work I am protected. This is enough.”
“Is it?”
“If you are from Tu-mdo, you know that it is.”
I thought about this a moment longer, clicked my tongue once in agreement. To my surprise, she seemed to understand, a little nod, and then into silence once again we lapsed. Finally: “Do you fancy defecting?” I blurted, eyes everywhere except on her. “It’s absolutely fine if you don’t. I just reason, given everything you have said, you probably have intelligence, information, et cetera, and you seem moderately dissatisfied with your position. Comfort, security, so on and so forth – I’m sure it could all be arranged.”
For a moment, she seemed to think about it, turning the glass between her fingers. Then: “No thank you,” she replied. “But I understand that it is partially thoughtful of you to ask, regardlessof your broader political motivations.”
“Fair enough.”
“Indeed.”
We stood together watching the room. Then she sighed, drained the last drink from the bottom of her glass and, half turning to look at me – or rather, no, a little past me, up and to the left, the same not-quite-eye-contact that was how I didn’t-quite-look at people most of the time – said: “If you are with the Consensus, then Corpsec probably considers you an enemy operative, so I really shouldn’t speak to you any more.”
“I am sorry to hear that, though you are probably correct.”
“I have enjoyed talking to you.”
“Likewise.”
“Uh-huh.” There it was again – a little “uh” that was neither good nor bad, merely a holding sound where more data was yet to be. “Well then,” she concluded. “Goodbye.”
And Riv Fexri walked away.
Chapter 40
In the sleeping hour, an upload to my reader.
It comes from Agran, and contains information on the man and the woman whose presence in the Spindle made no sense.
She: Riv Fexri, born to a medium-Shine family that fell on hard times, worked her way up through sheer scientific gumption and ingenuity. This was especially remarkable given her limited educational opportunities and the weight of debt she acquired in pursuing her interests. The debt should have crushed her, but just this once her Venture saw the potential in her mind, saw how valuable it might be if nurtured instead of suppressed, and made the bold choice to promote her rather than sell her. Perhaps it was this decision – the embracing of her in all her difference – that had given her such strong Shine. Perhaps she had realised that so long as she didn’t too overtly question the established way, she could be that most elusive, alluring of things – thatotherthat is different, exciting, without actually being a threat.
