I, too, did not like the sound of being an aspect of battle plans, but I knew that he was right. This was larger than us at this point, and peace wasn’t an option. Otherwise, we were no different than Milo and his indecision. My mind briefly flickered to Signa’s words, that this war was bigger than we realized, but I pushed them away.
Instead, my attention fixated on the fact that I could feel the warmth radiating from Otho’s thigh.
My mouth was dry and I had to wet my lips before voicing my proposition. “What if I exchange myself, but then you use it as an excuse to attack? Technically, I am property of Adis.”
Otho emitted a groan, his weight shifting. “I don’t want to put you in the middle like that.”
“It’s too late,” I insisted rubbing my neck. “I’m already in the middle, and you know I won’t rest until Collum is free.” She was still my cousin.
“All right. Then here is what we will do. You will trade yourself, insist Collum be allowed your horse, and she will return here.”
I nodded as he moved about the tent, pulling items into a bag that I didn’t recognize in the low light.
“You will say you are acting alone—you can even say you ran away. Leif may not believe it . . .” His lips twisted in an odd way before he continued. “And you may have to engage in drastic measures to ensure he doesn’t raise the alarm.” He pushed thepouch into my hands. “There is a vial of poison in here, if you find yourself in a bad situation. Just tell him to calm down and have a drink with you. The leaves in the other jar are the antidote. Since it will be too hard to poison just him, you must poison yourself as well and take the antidote as soon as possible.”
I opened the bag, observing the two glass jars. Although it was terrifying that I had the ability to kill someone in this tiny pouch that I held in my hands. It was also exhilarating, and I hoped after this was all over I would have the option to use the plants used to make these in my experiments.
“Six days after you arrive, we will attack when the moons are at their peak in the sky. When that happens, you run for the woods. I will find you there.”
It was suddenly hard to swallow. It was one thing to discuss my distrust of Leif, another to plan the deaths of what could be hundreds of people.
“If you meet anyone you trust not to betray you, drag them to the woods with you. But we will surround the palace, and my soldiers will only know to watch for you, so anyone not within your arm’s reach is fair game.”
Tingles skittered over my skin as the reality of what he was saying settled in. This was the side of Otho I had only heard rumors of and seen in action, briefly, once. The Otho who was a well-regarded general, a killer, and the sight of blood didn’t bother him.
“Do you understand?” His words were firm as his dark gaze searched my face, the corners of his lips downturned.
“Yes, sir.” I clutched the pouch to my chest, still unable to calm my racing heart. My eyes were drawn to his lips, and I forced myself to look away.
“Good. You will leave at first light—give the horse tonight to rest.” His voice was firm, and he kept his gaze pointed away from mine.
I wanted to protest, say that Collum shouldn’t spend more time there than absolutely necessary, but I knew he was right.The horse had just ridden all the way from Ralheim, and it was fully dark when I stepped outside of the tent.
It was awkward to leave the tension that was between Otho and me in the tent, but I knew that it was probably inappropriate for me to be in there in the first place, considering he had Friar, and I would never want to put her and my relationship at risk.
Plus, I already had a weighted.
I grimaced at that thought as I crossed the camp. I couldn’t believe Leif was the one the universe had decided I should spend the rest of my life with.
It didn’t take long to find my tent, and when I peeled back the flap, my mouth dropped open at what I found inside.
Everything I owned had been shredded.
I didn’t have the time to deal with it now, and I didn’t want to bother Otho either, so I simply pushed aside the shreds and lay on the cot without a blanket (as they had shredded that too). It wasn’t my first night without a blanket and it certainly wouldn’t be my last.
Whoever had thought they could scare me by shredding the two dresses I owned and my army-issued blanket obviously didn’t know me. Because if they did, they would know I had no attachment to the possessions which had been mine for only a few fortnights.
A few possessions were the least of my problems right now.
CHAPTER 35
Dawn came all too soon, my body waking me naturally before Otho could come to observe the sorry status of my tent. I’d originally planned to change clothes after my outing with Friar the day before, but instead I brushed off the rumpled clothes I had slept in, grimacing in the early morning sun as I crossed the camp to where Otho was already preparing a horse for me.
He must have heard me approach, as he turned, his gaze giving me a once-over, before turning his attention back to the horse. If he noticed I was wearing the same clothes as the night before, he said nothing.
Thing had always been tense between Otho and I, and I had yet to figure out why. Some days, I thought we might just be friends, but others, like now, I was sure he saw me as a speck of mud on his shoe.
An annoyance.
