Only grumpy Otho lived at the front lines, apparently.
Now, as I hid around the corner from the barracks, tapping my foot as I waited for Friar to appear, I knew I would need tospeak with Leif at some point. But that moment was not now. I had bigger issues to deal with.
The sun was high in the sky, beads of sweat rolling down my neck, when Friar finally appeared. It was obvious that Otho had directed her on how to dress, as we both wore pants and cloaks with hoods that could be pulled over our heads if we spotted someone who might recognize us. I was glad that I was at least allowed to wear pants once more. For as fun as dresses had been, pants made it so much easier to ride a horse, and deal with my menses—among other things.
As Friar approached, anxiety rose in my gut, and I ached to put off our first stop.
“Hello.” Friar moved into the shadows next to me, pulling her cloak tighter around herself—it was the dead season after all.
“Hi.”
Conversation stilled between us. Likely because we had never been friends and every interaction we’d had previously were with me dressed as a male and in a crisis of some sort.
“You look . . .”
“Like myself,” I finished for her, not wanting to hear anything else she had to say.
She nodded in agreement, her hands fidgeting with the edge of her hood. “So, Otho said you know where to start?”
“I do.” My affirmation sounded way stronger than I felt on the inside. “Hopefully no one will recognize me, but let’s keep our hoods on, just in case.”
“Good plan.”
I cringed as we turned the corner, leading us both down the street, my gaze focused on my feet as my cape flapped behind. I wasn’t sure why the conversation with her was so awkward, but I didn’t like it.
It felt like a century had passed since I last walked this path, but the knowledge was still there, allowing me to navigate the center of town with ease. There was a pang in my chest as we passed the university, something in my heart missing the educationI never got to finish, but I still held onto the hope that I would return someday. Perhaps after the war was over.
“You attended university.” Friar motioned her chin to the large white stone building as we passed, barely giving it a second glance.
“I did.” I grabbed her arm as a cart suddenly rolled past, nearly knocking her over. Once it was out of sight, I continued. “But that feels like another lifetime now.”
“Indeed. It’s funny how time moves.”
I guided us around the corner, facing the street where I had spent my entire life, though it felt like I was walking into a foreign land. One more foreign than Malheim, even.
Though I found what was once my home with ease, I could tell immediately the situation here was not the same as I had left it in. We’d always maintained a garden bed for vegetables in our yard, and now there were flowers budding instead. My herb garden was completely flattened, the fresh dirt there indicating something else had been planted. While I was upset that all my work had been covered up in an instant, I knew with certainty I could never return to this life anyway. Next, my eyes flickered to the windows, where instead of thick curtains hanging in every window, obscuring anyone from peering in, they were pulled back proudly, and I could see the colorful ribbons glinting through the glass.
There weren’t secrets living here anymore, and it showed.
We came to stand in front of the door, and I raised my hand to knock, but didn’t bring it to the wood just yet.
“You have to knock?” Friar whispered.
I nodded. “Collum is with Adis. I’m not sure if my brother is even still around. Maybe he sold the place to someone else and moved on.”
“Oh.”
It was time to stop stalling, and I rapped my fist on the door three times.
It didn’t take long for it to swing open, revealing none otherthan Helene in a flour-covered apron, her hands full of white powder.
“Helene.” The name fell from my lips as everything came together in my head. Milo hadn’t wasted much time grieving me, that was for sure.
Her blue irises jumped between Friar and I before narrowing on me. “I’m sorry.” She let out a light chuckle as those of her stature often did. “Do I know you?” Waves of nervousness rolled off her.
Well, that answered that question. Milo hadn’t told her about me.
I swallowed my feelings, pulling up the lies I had practiced. “We are here to see Milo Potson.”
