“Yes.” He ran a hand through his blond hair. “I hadn’t mastered it enough to do what you or Collum do.”
I tilted my head to the side. If there was one thing I had learned in my childhood, it was that where there was a will, there was a way. “Why don’t you take the time to learn now? You can teach me to swim, and I can teach you to read aloud?”
He chuckled, but his eyes didn’t come alive as they normally did when he laughed. “I could, I suppose, but I don’t really have the patience it takes to learn a new skill right now.”
It was time to ask the question that was burning in my chest. “But seeking?”
He shrugged. “Comes naturally to me.”
I struggled with how to ask the next question. “Did your mother . . .”
He knew what I was asking. “I was an unruly child, and my parents had no idea how to control me. They tried but . . .” He frowned. “It wasn’t until after the Purge that I realized the reason I always felt the need to go outside—to go somewhere—was connected to my body wanting me to search for magic texts.”
“Hm.” I dipped my finger in the water again, disappointed there were no fish to see here. “I’m still not sure how the whole seeker thing works.”
“Me either,” he admitted. “I don’t think we are alone in that.”
“Does your coven?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t want to give them false hope.”
“Oh.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, and I spent the time running my fingers through the cool grass, it was strangely comfortable between us, even though it was silent. Something I relished, having grown up with Collum who was filling the silence with her voice unless she was asleep.
“Leif?” I asked, slicing the silence at last.
“Hm?”
I debated how to word what I wanted so he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. “Do you think Hansen will ever find me books to read?”
He seemed to mull it over for a beat. “I’m not sure.”
That’s exactly what I was afraid of. “What happens to me then? I just have to stay trapped here for the rest of my life?”
“No.” He shifted into a sitting position, reaching for my hands. “That won’t happen. I won’t let it.”
His large hands gripped mine and warmth spread up my arms into my shoulders. That was exactly what I had been hoping he would say. “So, you will help me escape then?”
“Absolutely,” he promised, moving my shoulders so I was leaning into him. “I can’t do it now as Hansen will be too suspicious. But if he doesn’t have something for you soon, I will help you escape, I promise.”
I frowned. “When is ‘soon’?” While I liked the way his chest felt behind my back, his warmth seeping through the back of one of the dresses I had been provided, I didn’t like the vagueness of the wordsoon. Too much of my life up to this point had been vague.
“I’m not sure, my heart. But I promise, I won’t let this go on too long, okay?”
My ears caught on the nickname. “Did you just call me yourheart?”
I couldn’t see his expression in this position, but I swore I could feel his heart rate increase. “I did. Is that all right with you?”
I nodded, warmth spreading through my body for a second time. I think I quite liked having a nickname. “I like it. I’ve never had a nickname before,” I confessed, pressing my hands to my cheeks, which were probably pink.
“Well, you’ve never had a weighted before either.” He placed a soft kiss in my hair and I couldn’t help but smile as I closed my eyes and leaned further into his hold.
It was one of the best and most peaceful afternoons I had ever experienced.
I should have known it was too good to last though, because shortly after Leif returned me to my room that afternoon, I was summoned before Hansen. It was a different guard than the one Leif was friends with—who had stood by my door all afternoon—and when I asked the purpose of the summons, he just shrugged and said, “To read.”
So, Hansen had acquired the books anyway. Without Leif’s help.
