“Now how about you take a sip, Alpha?” She held a spoon in front of his mouth. “Lorraine made your favorite chicken noodle soup.”
He opened his mouth to protest again, but like when he had been ill or injured as a child, Rosemary took the opportunity to shove the spoon into his mouth.
“You are the Alpha of our hearts, and hopefully one day, you’ll find a way to rid Green Field of the Monster so you can take your place as the official Alpha of this pack.”
It took nearly all his remaining energy to engage in that exhausting conversation, but he owed the woman who had done her best to care for him when there was nobody else to do it. “You know that can’t happen, ma’am. I’m no longer the presumptive Alpha of this pack. Rupert Junior is going to take over for his father someday.”
Keith had become presumptive Alpha twenty-five years earlier, upon birth. He had gotten the position from his then-Alpha father, and his pack had insisted that it stay with him when his father died not long after. Their plan had been for him to replace the stranger that had taken his father’s place andstep into the Alpha role as soon as he came of age. But not long before Keith’s eighteenth birthday, their hopes were decimated along with his own when he proved himself unworthy and lost everything as a result.
As miserable as he had been during his childhood, he wouldn’t have thought things could get worse, but the nearly eight years that had passed since then had proven him wrong. He wasn’t surprised by that, long since having become accustomed to being wrong about everything. Contrary to what he had fervently believed in childhood, Mother Nature was a myth, trusting in her was self-betrayal, and fate was a villain nearly as cruel as the man who had very resentfully kept him after his parents died.
“The younger Monster will not take over,” Rosemary said firmly as she raised another spoonful of soup toward his mouth. “Green Field will never accept the Jacksons, father or son. You are our Alpha. It is fated. Now eat. Lorraine made this soup especially for you.”
“Is that the same fate that killed my father? The one that killed my mother? The one that entrusted me with a mate I couldn’t protect?” He lowered his head back to the mattress and buried his face between his arms. “With all due respect, ma’am, I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.” All he wanted to do now was sleep and never wake up. He didn’t expect to find peace, even in death. He didn’t deserve that. But if he were unconscious, he’d at least stop hurting innocent people.
“That wasn’t fate, Alpha. All of it was the Monster’s doing.”
He had heard some version of that comment all his life. His packmates detested Alpha Rupert Jackson to the point that they refused to call him by his name unless he, his son, or one of his few loyalists were around. Although they wore a paper-thin veneer of politeness in the Alpha’s presence, anyone with the least bit of social awareness would recognize how they truly felt.Rupert Jackson either lacked such awareness, or he didn’t care because he didn’t do anything to earn the love and respect of his pack, seemingly satisfied with their fear-driven submission.
“Alpha.”
Closing his eyes, he hoped to fall into a quiet sleep, free from the memories that haunted his nightmares. He couldn't remember the last time he had truly rested to the point that he doubted whether he ever had.
“Alpha!” she whisper-yelled. Though the basement was built of concrete and the two shifters who lived upstairs held relatively minimal power, they were still Alpha wolves, and they would be able to hear their conversation if she raised her voice too high.
“Shh.” He turned his head to the side and opened his bleary eyes. “Leave before you get caught helping me.” He untwisted his arm and clutched her wrist. “I don’t want them to punish you.”
“Then eat,” she said stubbornly. “It’s been over a month. You can’t keep this up. You need sustenance.”
He had hoped it wouldn’t take this long for his light to finally extinguish. When the pain of his failures was still sharp and fresh, he had punished himself by fighting the extraordinarily powerful Golden Valley Alpha. Targeting a weaker Alpha was pointless, because even if Keith wanted to lose and made every effort to pull his punches, he could inadvertently hurt such a lesser wolf and he didn’t want to truly harm anyone other than himself. Morgan Peters was strong enough to put up an equal fight, and if Keith reined himself in a little, Morgan would easily beat him. That allowed Keith to suffer punishments for his shortcomings without doing much damage to others. And it had worked well for years, until the day it hadn’t, the day Morgan had given up and Keith had almost killed him. The image of fair, kind, honorable Morgan Peters bloody and damaged, onthe verge of death at his hands haunted him. He could never, ever take that kind of chance again. The rage that had been his constant companion for years dissipated to be replaced by soul-deep exhaustion.
“I don’t want to keep this up,” he whispered into his arms, too quietly for Rosemary to hear him. “Please, let it end.” He didn’t know who he was talking to. His youthful pleas to Mother Nature had always gone unanswered, but back then, he had believed that if he worked harder and made fewer mistakes, she would care for him just as she did for all shifters. That was before he had met his fated mate; an Omega who barely tolerated his presence, recoiled at even the possibility of his most innocent touch, and shortly after arriving, ran from Green Field to destroy himself and the man he actually loved. As an Alpha, Keith’s duty was to protect all shifters, especially more vulnerable ones, like Omegas, and even more so his mate. He had failed on all levels. “I just want it all to end.”
“Alpha Jackson said you should wait in the front sitting room.” Gloria’s normally professional tone was high pitched and strained.
The distress in his packmate’s voice concerned Keith enough to push him into consciousness. He rubbed his eyes and then blinked them open. Rosemary must have given up on feeding him because he was once again alone in his basement bedroom and the bowl of soup was sitting on the floor beside his mattress.
“Sir!” Gloria said more loudly. “You can’t go down there. Alpha Jackson and Rupert Junior went to handle a disturbance, but they will return shortly to conduct your meeting. Please wait in the sitting room.”
“I know someone’s down there. I can scent him.”
The deep, resonant voice was new to Keith and yet there was a familiarity to it that awoke something hidden inside him.He tried to sit up, but Rosemary had been right about him not having eaten for too long, and he quickly crumpled back onto the mattress.
“He isn’t well.” The new but profoundly recognizable voice was angry. “What are you people doing to him?”
“We’re protecting him!” Lorraine had apparently come out of the kitchen and was outside the basement door. “Stay back, Alpha Berger. You aren’t welcome here.”
Alpha Berger. Keith scrunched his eyebrows together and tried to place the name.
“I don’t want to physically force you, but I’m going to go to him. We all know you can’t stop me so please step aside on your own power or I will use mine.”
“I realize you’re disappointed that your meeting is delayed, but that isn’t his fault. He has nothing to do with whatever Alpha Jackson says or does,” Rosemary shouted breathlessly. “Leave him out of it.”
An image formed in Keith’s head of the three older women crowded in front of the basement door, blocking an Alpha wolf from entering. It was amusing, really. And it was also ineffective. They hadn’t been able to physically overpower him since he had learned to walk, so they stood no chance against a fully grown Alpha. That was fine. If Rupert Jackson had gotten into a mess that would be solved only by another pack taking Keith’s blood, he’d mentally thank him for the favor.
“I understand that.” The voice shook, but even in his weakened state, Keith could discern that it was from fury rather than nerves. “Step aside on your own right now or I’ll be forced to move you.”
He wanted to call out to his packmates, tell them it was fine to retreat, that he was happy to pay for anyone’s sins because he deserved that and more, but he couldn’t open his mouth, let alone speak. His strength was finally, blessedly gone. Hopefullyit wouldn’t take long now, with or without this Alpha Berger’s assistance.
