“Because, Rina, I don’t love you as much as I could. You should have someone who is wild about you.”
Tears escaped the corner of her eyes, plopping onto her pressed gray suit.
“Don’t cry.” He reached out to her. She yanked her arm away, looking more furious than he’d ever seen her.
“You’re heading back to Canada soon, anyway,” he continued, thinking of the April end to her six-month assignment.
She straightened further. As he figured, latching onto logic ameliorated this actuary’s dejection. “I was going to ask you about that. I’d extend my stay if you wanted. If that’s the reason for this . . .”
She’d reached the bargaining stage of acceptance.
Seeing her pain, he wondered if he was wrong to start something that pleased but never sparked passion in him.
“When we made love, did you love me?”
He recalled that first night. He’d been so worried she’d reject him. Instead, she’d patiently allowed him to find his way.Love, though? No.He aimed for diplomatic truth.
“You made a huge difference during the hardest time in my life. You saw me as a man no matter what I had or was missing. You encouraged me to work harder, to give up my cane. You didn’t care about my injuries. I love you for all those things and more. But you deserve fireworks and dreams of the future, and we don’t have that.”
As Phoenix spoke, Rina’s tears dried in salty lanes along her cheeks and clothes. She looked him in the eye. “Fireworks and dreams of the future? Maybeyoudidn’t have that. ButIdid.”
He gazed at her pretty features, puckered and drooping in a mixture of sad and angry. “Sorry.”
They sat in silence. Rina stared out the window and absently blotted a tissue under her eyes.
The memory of Orchid popped up, unbidden. Seeing her yesterday put his relationship with Rina into stark contrast. What he had with Rina wasn’t enough. What he could’ve had with Orchid couldn’t be resurrected.
Finally, Rina turned to him with renewed self-control. “Should we stay friends?”
“Sure. We could still have your birthday dinner with your co-workers.”
“Okay, see you then,” she said.
Her checklist complete, she stood and grabbed his glass. She headed to the kitchen, where he could hear her clattering ceramic and glassware in the sink. He cringed as a particularly loud crash sounded like something had broken.
Then he stood, taking one last look around. He left, feeling oddly unburdened.
CHAPTER 43
SEVEN NATION ARMY
Caleb
SATURDAY MARCH 16
Even with the snow melting, the afternoon traffic was slow enough to catch Caleb’s attention with each jingle of the doorway bell.
Well, hell’s bells.He did a double take at a dark-haired woman shaking snow off her boots as she entered the shop. Not that her pleather leggings, biker boots and army surplus jacket seemed out of place here. More surprising was that the last time he’d seen Orchid’s familiar face was while screaming into it.
She looked around, swiped her smooth locks out of her eyes, and spotted him. He pushed himself out of the consultation chair at the back of the shop and made his way to her. No sense pretending he hadn’t seen her.
“Orchid,” he acknowledged.
“Caleb, how are you?”
“Fucked up, as usual,” he answered calmly.
“Me, too,” she answered. He eyed the bandage on her forehead, wondering if it was the reason for her self-deprecating sigh. She looked different, her expression serious, as if she only recently had matured from a girl into a woman. He didn’t think it was only a matter of the wound. There was some determined emphasis in her stride. He sensed she was on a mission.
