“You have nothing to be ashamed about.”
“My ego thanks you for understanding.”
“Your ego has nothing to fear from me, I’m not judging. Or if I am, I see nothing lacking.”
His grip cupped hers. She caressed the soft pad of his thumb then traced a finger up the lifeline along his palm, to the faint pulse in his wrist. The intimacy of crossing the boundary beneath his shirt cuff shifted their intimacy from comfort to electrifying.
Something barely perceptible passed over his face. Light as a feather. She searched his expression, and the softness around his eyes. A look of longing. Maybe more.
He paused, weighing something in his mind. “I should let you go. Get some rest before tomorrow. I’ll swing by with the car at six.” He shifted to the edge of the couch, as if intending to stand.
She could foresee the inches between them expanding to the length of this room, and then the city blocks between their apartments. And after tomorrow, six thousand miles from here to Beijing.
“Don’t go. There’s one more thing.” She took his hand.
He paused and turned. There was confusion on his face.
Their time since April had filled her with a lifetime of joy, and she wanted more. She leaned closer.
There was a furrow across his brow. “I made a promise to myself that I’d never hurt you.” His voice was a murmur, low and hoarse.
Courage filled her. Swelled up from her heart and radiated into every part of her body. She felt as if she were growing beyond her stature… to meet the giant that was this man. Then, the force of all that had transpired between them, the magnitude of the love he had bestowed upon her—this expansive, unconditional love—suddenly burst through. The scaffolds around her heart, structures that had protected the young Orchid, and continued their grip until this day, suddenly splintered. His care had begun her journey, but the rest of this change was her doing. She, Orchid Paige, was more than enough. What she’d been through didn’t make her less. Not less than those with trust funds and Ivy League pedigrees, not less than those with parents and loving families. Her right to rise above her past came from within, from her reserves of strength. With Phoenix, that power glowed, like a thousand ancestral warriors. She could barely catch her breath.
In this moment, she had shared her gift with the one person who had helped her see it.
She studied his face, then tilted her head. “This won’t hurt. Either of us. I promise.”
His confusion seemed to fade with understanding. Matching the delicacy of her barely perceptible motion, he narrowed the gap between them.
“You’ve been extraordinary. And I made a mistake… in the ground rules, from the start,” she said.
“It was no mistake,” he replied. “Trying to adhere to your ground rules, and failing every time we were together, that’s how I knew this is the real thing. You are amazing. Everything about you.”
She touched his face. “How I’ve wanted this,” she said.
All those wasted months, adhering to propriety.
His look of desire touched her heart. What if she let whatever happened… happen? Without assumptions.
She leaned closer and their lips met with a tender touch. His embrace was full and warm, like the man she’d known him to be. She felt desire… and urgency.
Every late night of want, tipping towards reality, exploded in her.
He mirrored her tenderness, fingers through her hair. The contours of his lips fit hers, impressing care and want in every caress.
A ragged edge of their shared histories suddenly softened.
The kiss was unforgettable. Soft. Hot. Too short. Yet…like falling into eternity. Vulnerability splayed open her heart, as if he’d unlocked a secret in her core. In truth, he had.
They pulled back, their breathing rough.
He glanced at her, studying her expression. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can forget that kiss.”
“I hope I never forget it,” she said, not meaning to sound so earnest and vulnerable.
He smiled. “We aim to please. Did you know LUSH has a new line?” he asked. “It’s like those plaster imprints of baby footprints only you use their natural beeswax to capture the imprint of lips. It’s a kiss-print.”
“You made that up.”
